


Losing Yourself (Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco Fanfiction)

by panicatthedisco14



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Panic! at the Disco - Freeform, fall out boy - Freeform, my chemical romance - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 09:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 28,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2687903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panicatthedisco14/pseuds/panicatthedisco14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Brendon and Erica's relationship starts taking off, tragedy strikes. Will Brendon ever regain his memory? His whole future could completely change... depending on the choices he makes. When Erica has to return to school, will Brendon follow her or move on with his life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my story that I originally posted on Wattpad. It is still there, but I thought I would post it on here too. Hope ya guys enjoy :)

I had just gotten out of the shower and put a towel around my body when I noticed the bathroom door opening. I spin around to find Brendon sneaking in.

"Brendon, get out," I yell trying not to wake up the guys.

He smiles and slurs, "I don't want to. I need to tell you what's on my mind. I just want to be with you, Erica and not sneak around behind Patrick's back."

I put my hand on his and say, "I know, but he's too overprotective of me after all I am his 17 year old sister. Anyway besides that you're drunk, and you need to go back to sleep Breny Boo."

He steps forward and whispers, "But I can't sleep knowing that we can never be together. I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in a month."

Tears start slipping down his face. Brendon sits down on the floor, and starts crying.

"Oh Brendon don't cry. Look we can go talk to Patrick and the rest of the guys tomorrow if it makes you happy," I say.

Brendon wobbly stands up and puts his arms around my waist.

"I love you," he whispers looking down at me.

Before I can say anything, he leans down and kisses me. His lips are soft against mine. My mind clouds up with a million thoughts about Brendon. My knees start to get weak when he pushes me against the wall and kisses me harder. He slowly starts kissing my neck... his mouth lingers after each kiss. He's teasing me. Of course, classic Brendon... always leaving me wanting more. He knows all the right places that make me weak. A small moan escapes my mouth. Seconds later, I feel him tugging at the towel trying to get it off of my body , but that's enough to snap me out of it.

Patting him on his chest, I whisper, "I love you too. Now can you turn around, so I can put on my pajamas?"

His eyes slowly look me up and down until he reluctantly turns away. I smile and hesitantly take the towel off and put on my shorts and gigantic Panic at the Disco tshirt. I finally turns around to face a shirtless Brendon.

"Um why did ya take of your shirt," I ask trying to hide a smile.

"Duh because I'm sexy," he says laughing. 

I tilt my head to the side smiling.

"I'm kidding. This is how I'm sleeping tonight... you'll love it," he says smiling ear to ear.

He grabs my hand and leads me to his bunk. I climb in first, and then he climbs in. When we're finally settled, he pulls me into a hug. I roll over and lay my head on his chest. After a while, we fall asleep.


	2. The Secret's Revealed

When I wake up, I notice that Brendon is awake looking down at me smiling.

"What time is it," I moan.

He shrugs his shoulders and mumbles, "I don't know... maybe 11 in the morning." He leans down and kisses me on the forehead.

"Well, I guess it's time to get up," I say sighing.

As I climb over him to get out of the bunk, he pulls me down and says, "No, we could just stay here a little bit longer." 

I sigh and say, "I wish we could, but we need to tell Patrick now before we back out of it. So come on."

He lets me go, and I climb out of the bunk. A few seconds later, he comes staggering out. We walk into the tour bus sized living room, and everyone stops talking and looks up at us.

Brendon asks, "Well, shit why is everyone so quiet?"

No one says anything. I give Pete a quizzical look, but all he does is look at me and Brendon then Patrick. Brendon sits down in a chair and pulls me down with him. When Patrick sees me sitting in Brendon's lap, he clears his throat.

Before I can open my mouth to talk, Brendon says, "Look, Patrick, Erica and I have been dating since the beginning of the summer tour. We didn't want to tell you because well-,"

That's when I speak up, "Because we were afraid of how it might affect your friendship. So what do you think?"

Patrick looks at Pete, who smiles and nods...Patrick sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. He looks at me and Brendon then at the floor. It seems like an eternity before he finally gives us an answer.

Finally, Patrick quietly says, "I don't like you two being together. No offense Brendon, but you're too old for her. She's only 17 and you're 27. She's supposed to be with someone her age. She's supposed to have a normal life and finish school. You two are better off as friends." 

My heart sinks. I can feel Brendon stiffen.

"Patrick you know I would never do anything to hurt her. Age is just a number that doesn't mean anything. She can have a normal life and date me. She... I love her Patrick. I honest to God love her," Brendon stutters.

Andy, Joe, Pete, Dallon, and Kenneth just sit there trying to decide if they should say something.

I finally say,"Patrick, I love him too. He's the first thing that's made me really enjoy life. To everyone I met I was just Patrick Stump's little sister, but to him I'm me."

Patrick sighs and put his head in his hands. He finally looks at me and Brendon and says, "If you two feel that way, then okay. Who am I to stand in the way of love? Be together. I'm happy you two feel that way about each other."

I walk toward Patrick and hug him.

He laughs and says, "Okay you two better go get your things up because we're almost at the hotel that we'll be staying at this weekend."


	3. Race Ya to the Pool

When I try to get my suitcase, Brendon grabs it and takes off running and laughing like a little kid high on candy.

"What are you doing," I yell laughing.

"I want to get in the pool. Come on," he yells back.

"Oh God," I mutter as I take off running. 

I finally catche up to him and jump on his back.

"Ha I caught you so what do I win," I ask out of breath.

He keeps running until we get inside of the hotel. Brendon sits the suitcases down, and I hop down from his back laughing. He leans down and presses his soft lips against mine. He pulls back when we hear Patrick and Pete talking.

"What are you two just standing there for," Patrick asked.

Brendon and I look at each other, and he says, "Wai-."

I interrupt and say, "Waiting on a bunch of slow old people."

They all look at each other smiling. The we walk to the check in desk. The woman is dressed in a gray suit in her mid thirties.

She smiles and asks, "How many rooms do you need?"

Brendon's, Dallon's, and Kenneth's manager said, "Two rooms for us."

Patrick's, Pete's, Joe's, and Andy's manager said, "Two rooms for us too."

After that, the woman gives everyone keys. All the rooms were all in a private floor with security.

I ask Brendon, "Um where do I stay?"

He says, "You're going to share my bed, duh. Where else do you think you would sleep?"

He does his eyebrows up and down.

"I don't know Brendon," I mumble bashfully.

We go get on the elevator and go to their rooms. As Brendon, Dallon, and Kenneth flop down on the chairs and beds, I go in the bathroom and put on my swimsuit.

When I walk out of the bathroom, Brendon whistles and says, "Oh baby."

I bust out laughing as he grabs his swimsuit and runs in the bathroom.

A few seconds later he comes running out of the bathroom yelling, "Last one in the pool has to fix the other one dinner!"

I run off after him. Just as I round the corner, I see the elevator door closing, and Brendon waving. I quickly run to the stairs and start running down them. After all it's only 9 flights of stairs. A few minutes later, I reache the bottom...clearly out of breath. That's when I see Brendon running off the elevator. I gather up all the strength that's left in my legs and run after him. I run through a crowd of people who are standing around talking. I finally reach Brendon, who's just standing there looking at the pool. I run past him and jump into the cold water. When I come up, I notice that he's beside me smiling.

"I beat you, so now you have to cook me dinner," I say wiping the water out of my eyes.

"No, I said the first one to the pool wins," he says.

I shake my head and say, "Noooo you said that whoever was the first one in the pool wins."

I dive back under the water and start swimming away from him. Before I can get away, Brendon grabs my ankles and pulls me back so that we are face to face. He wraps his arms around my neck and kisses my lips. We kiss until we can't hold our breath anymore. When we surface, we find Dallon and Pete swimming towards us.

"What are you to over here doing," Dallon asks trying to hide his laughter.

"Nothingggg," I say glancing at Brendon.

Brendon chuckles, "We were kissing underwater. It was pretty hot."

Dallon says, "You better be careful if the police see you doing too much PDA because they'll arrest ya."

Pete laughs and says, "Come on Dallon, lets leave these two lovebirds alone."


	4. Skating Problem

Right when Dallon and Pete leave, Andy comes out and says, "Hey guys, don't forget in 30 minutes we're going skating."

Brendon and I sigh and start to swim over to the ladder and climb out of the pool. When we get out, he grabs a beach towel and puts it around mw. 

I smile and say, "Such a gentleman."

He does a dip and says, "Always for my lady."

I can't help but to bust out laughing. While I'm laughing, he picks me up and carries me back to the hotel room.

*THIRTY MINUTES LATER*

Brendon wraps his hand around my hand, and we walk out of the hotel. We see Patrick and Pete in a black mercades, Joe and Andy in a black Chevrolet Truck, and Kenneth and Dallon in a silver Honda. There's a red 1972 Chevy Impala for us. He opens the door for me and then runs over to his side of the car. We are all going to Spiffy's Skating Rink. When we arrive at the skating rink, Brendon walks over to my side of the car and opens the door for me. I hand him his fake mustache and wig, so he won't be noticed. After he puts them on, I can't help but laugh.

I annoyingly ask, "Do you have to wear that?"

He leans in and kisses me on the forehead and says, "Yes."

Brendon then leads me into the skating rink. The bands' managers had already paid for it, so all Brendon has to do is show the employee his ID. Brendon hands me the skates, and no matter how hard I try to put them on, they won't go on.

I start laughing while Brendon stares at me smiling. "Can you get them on," he asks you.

"No, they won't go on," I yell.

I give it one more shot, and they slip on. I stand up, and immediately start sliding backwards. I grab Brendon by the arm to steady myself.

"Do you even know how to skate," he asks laughing. 

"Yeah I do," I say with a suddenly high pitched voice.

He tilts his head and raises his eyebrow. He knows I'm lying.

"Fine, I don't know how to," I say sighing.

"Well, this should be extremely funny," he laughs.


	5. Laughter is Always the Best Revenge

"You can't laugh at me when I fall," I shakily say as I'm holding his hand walking not skating to the rink.

"I promise," he says trying to hide that smirk.

I look up at him for a second, but then I focus on not falling down on my butt.

He grasps my hand tighter and asks, "You ready to go on the actual rink?"

I nod my head, and let out a huge sigh. He slowly tugs me out onto the rink. I feel yourself start to wobble, and I panic. I quickly let go of his hand and hug the wall.

"Oh my God, I'm going to fall and break my wrists. I can't do it," I say loudly.

He laughs and looks me in my eyes. "You're not going to fall and break your wrists because I got you. Okay," he whispers.

I take a deep breath and reluctanly let go of the wall. I place my hand in his out stretched hand and say, "Okay."

After a while, I begin to get the hang of it, so Brendon lets go of my hand. I awkwardly skate around staying close to the wall. Then I edge into the middle of the rink. I see Patrick out of the corner of my eyes skating around talking to Pete and Andy. I call out for them to look and that's when my feet fly up in the air, and I fall down laughing. You look over to see Brendon bent over laughing his head off. When he looks up at you, his face is red and tears are streaming from his eyes. After five minutes, he composes himself and races over to my side. He extends a hand, and I hesitantly take it. I wobbily stand up.

"You promised that you wouldn't laugh when I fall," I say.

"But it was so funny... you're feet just flailed up in the air and the look on your face! You laughed at yourself, so why can't I laugh," he says trying to stiffle a laugh. Brendon begins to mock my facial expression when I fell.

I hit him on the chest and say, "But you're not supposed to laugh at people when they get hurt! And I can laugh at myself. "

I start skating the rink exit that is a foot away, but the second I move my feet I start to fall down. I grab Brendon's arm, and we go tumbling down onto the floor laughing. When I look at Brendon, I notice that his wig is about to fall off and his mustache is sideways. I start laughing a hundred times harder. Tears start coming out of the corners of my eyes, and my stomach starts to hurt from laughing so hard for so long. I finally get the laughter under control until I look at Brendon again. After five minutes of laughing, I finally calm down..


	6. The Perfect Date Night

Brendon and I finally work our way over to the benches and sit beside Joe, who's sitting down drinking a Red Bull.

"Are you two okay? You both look like extremely sloppy drunks," Joe asks.

"I can't say it without laughing," Brendon says taking deep breaths.

"Me either," I say trying to contain the laughter.

Joe gives us a funny look and then says, "Fine. Just forget that I asked."

All of a sudden Vegas Lights starts playing, and Brendon pulls out his phone and looks at me.

"Vine time," he says.

"What would we do," I ask tapping my foot to the beat of the song.

"Lip sing to the song. What else would we do," Brendon replies sarcastically.

He presses the recording button and turns it on me. I panic for a nano second, but get back on track.

I automatically start making weird faces and mouthing, "We're swimming with the sharks until we drown."

Then Brendon turns the camera toward him and yells, "That's my song! That's my song!"

While he yells that, he smiles like an idiot and points at his chest. After he does that, he uploads it to the Internet. I put my hand over my mouth to muffle my laughter.

Kenneth walks up to us and says, "Time to leave. They close in 15 minutes."

Brendon looks at me and asks, "It's already been two hours?"

I shrug my shoulders and say, "I guess time flies when we're making fun of ourselves for falling." e

Brendon and I return our skates and put our shoes on. When we walk outside, I noticed that the sun has set, and owls are hooting.

When we get in the car, Brendon checks his phone and asks, "Well, what does my lady want to eat?"

"Hmmmmmm how about Mexican," I say looking at him with one eyebrow raised.

He slaps the steering wheel and exclaims, "Done deal! They have a restaurant at the hotel. Do you want to go to that one?"

I lay my hand on his and say, "Sure." 

When Brendon and I arrive at the hotel, I ask, "So do you have to wear the mustache and wig?"

He takes the mustache off and says, "I don't want to, but I don't want to be noticed. Not tonight... I want it to be just a special date night. Why you don't like it?"

He puts the mustache on my face while he's laughing. Then he quickly pulls out his phone and takes a picture. 

I stick my bottom lip out and say, "Pwease. Don't wear it Breny Boo. "

He stops laughing and rubs his thumb down my cheek.

He says, "Fine, I'll do anything for you. After all, I can't say no to you when you make that adorable face."

He takes the mustache off my face and the wig off of his head. Brendon runs his fingers through his hair and walks over to my side of the car.

He opens the door, sticks out his arms, and asks, "Shall we?"

I smile and say, "We shall."

We walk through the hotel to the Mexican Restaurant. A waiter shows us to our table. The waiter leaves us alone for a couple of minutes and comes back to take the orders. We tell him what we want and he scribbles the order down.

As soon as he leaves, Brendon looks at me and says, "I love you."

I can feel my face turning red and say, "I love you too Breny Boo."

He laughs and says, "We're so weird."

I laugh, "Extremely, but weirdness is a good thing."

"It is. God, I love you so much. Your weirdness, your smile, your laugh, the way you understand me when no one else does, and your unique ability to love me," he says looking me in my eyes.

"I love you too, more than you could ever know. I love your unique and crazy weirdness, your smile, your voice, your beautiful eyes, your many laughs, and the way you see me as myself and not as just Patrick Stump's little sister," I say smiling at him.

"Well, it's easy to love you for who your are," Brendon says as the waiter's walking up with our food.


	7. The Night Brendon and I got Caught

After we're done eating, a drunk Brendon and I walk back up to the hotel room. When we get in the room, I notice that there's no sign of Dallon and Kenneth. That's when I see a note on the desk that says, 'Gone out to eat with Patrick, Andy, Joe, and Pete. Wanted to let you two be alone together. Be back around midnight, so do something fun -Dallon and Kenneth ;)'

I smile and sit the note back down on the desk. I walk over to the bed and sit down on the bed while Brendon comes staggering out of the bathroom. He sits down beside me, leans over, and presses his soft warm lips against mine. Brendon wraps his arms around my waist, and we fall back onto the bed. He puts his legs on each side of my hips. I'm laying on the bottom, and he's sitting on top of me. I wrap my legs around his waist. Of course Brendon starts to tease me again by letting his mouth linger after each kiss. My skin feels like it's alive with electricity.

I can't take it anymore... I start unbuttoning Brendon's shirt. When I finally get it unbuttoned, I take it off of him. Before I know it, he's sliding my shirt over my head. He starts kissing my neck ever so slowly. His fingertips dance across my bare stomach. A soft moan escapes my mouth. Suddenly, he unbuttons and takes off his pants.

I quickly slide mine off. Brendon smiles and growls, "The tickle monster's going to get you!"

Brendon jumps on the bed. I laugh and grab a pillow. Before I can turn around and hit him, he grabs and tickles me. I start hitting him with the pillow. He chuckles and takes the pillow away from me. Then I sit up and try to get it, but he throws it in the floor.

Brendon pushes me back onto the bed and whispers, "I know where your secret spot is."

I start blushing and ask, "And where is it Breny Boo?"

He leans in closer to my ear where his lips are barely touching my ear and whispers, "Right here..."

He starts tickling my stomach and I laugh like a maniac. When he stops to let me take a breath, I start to tickle him. He lets out that adorable little laugh.

Brendon suddenly pins my hands to the bed and whispers, "I think the tickle monster won this round."

I shake my head and say, "No, I think I won this round."

While looking down at me, he raises one of his eyebrows and whispers, "Oh really?"

I nod my head and mumble, "Mmmmmhhhh. "

We're breathing heavily looking at each other. Brendon's legs are back on each side of my hips, and he's sitting on top of me. I'm laying there waiting on his next move. Brendon's eyes drift down to my chest, and he slowly starts kissing my neck working his way to my chest. A small moan works its way out of my mouth. As soon as Brendon hears the moan he stops and smiles.

He whispers, "I love that sound."

I begin kissing Brendon on the neck. I wrap my legs back around his waist. He lets out a soft moan, and he starts kissing my neck again. His fingertips dance across my bare stomach working their way across my back and landing on my bra. I can barely contain another moan. Right when he unstraps my bra and begins to kiss my chest, people come in the room. He turns his attention to the people standing by the door, but he still stays on top of me. I turn my attention to Dallon and Kenneth who've stopped dead in their tracks staring at us.

I look at Brendon and mumble, "Um Brendon can you let me up so I can cover up with the sheets?"

He looks down at me and mumbles, "Oh sure."

He rolls over to my side, and I place a hand on my bra so it will stay on. I pull the sheets over me and him. I finally peek out from under the sheets to see Dallon and Kenneth standing the smiling.

"What," I ask laughing.

Dallon and Kenneth look at each other, and Dallon says, "We never thought we would walk in on you two. We thought it would be over by now. You two must be really having fun."

I feel my face turning red, and I grab the pillow out of the floor, and throw it at them.

"Why are you two worried about us," Brendon asks them smiling.

"Because we want you both to be happy and content," Kenneth says.

Brendon pulls me into a hug and says, "Oh we're very content. You don't have to worry about that." 

I let out a weird giggle.

Kenneth laughs and says,"Well, I'm going to hit the hay. It's been a long day."

He walks over to the opposite bed and collapses onto it. Seconds later, we hear snoring.

Dallon yawns and says, "Yeah, I'm going to sleep too."

He walks over to the couch and minutes later we hear another snore.

"Well, I guess we should go to sleep too," Brendon whispers.

I whisper, "In our underwear? Shouldn't we put on pajamas?"

"No. Absolutely not. No way," he repeats over and over.

I laugh and say, "Fine. Fine, but first can you hook the bra thing in the back?"

"You could just take it off," Brendon says giving you the eyes.

"I'm not. Dallon and Kenneth are in her," I whisper.

"Fine," he whispers strapping my bra.

He pulls me into a huge hug and lays his head on my shoulder. I lay my head on his. Brendon starts to rub my head. I wrap my hand around his free hand and rub it with my thumb.

Eventually, my eyelids start to get heavy, but before sleep comes I whisper, "I love you Brendon."

My eyelids finally close and I faintly hear, "I love you too


	8. The End of all Things

I wake up to someone knocking on the door. I roll over and nudge Brendon who jumps up.

"What is it," he shouts.

"Someone's at the door, and I can't answer it because I'm in my underwear. Plus your hair is sticking up everywhere," I say sitting up and fixing his hair.

"I'm also in my underwear," he picks up a pillow and throws it at Kenneth who sits up immediately.

"Get the door Kenneth," Brendon shouts.

Kenneth wobbly stands up and mumbles, "Why don't either of you answer it?"

Brendon flops back down and says, "Because we're in our underwear."

Kenneth finally opens the door, and Patrick asks, "Can I come in?"

Brendon and I immediately jump out of bed and pick up our clothes. I run into the bathroom while Brendon's trying to put on his skinny jeans. I quickly slip my shirt and pants on, and quickly open the bathroom door. Patrick's standing there talking to Brendon. I take a deep breath to try and compose myself.

Then I walk over to Brendon and Patrick.

"What's going on," I ask looking at Patrick.

There is a frantic look on his face. Something isn't right. He never gets that look unless something is terribly wrong.

Patrick says, "The managers' got the date for the gig in Hershey, Pennsylvania wrong. The record label called and reminded us this morning that we're supposed to perform there tonight, and it's 8 hours away. We have to get there by 9 tonight and it's noon right now.... so we need to pack quickly. We've never disappointed our fans before, and we can't start now."

After Patrick leaves, Brendon wakes up Dallon, and everyone starts running around trying to pack. After 30 minutes, everyone's on the tour bus ready to go. The driver starts off driving so slow that a turtle could pass us.

Fall Out Boy's manager walks up front and says, "Hey speed it up please. We need to get there on time."

The driver punches the gas, and we go flying down the interstate. A few minutes later I fall asleep sitting in Brendon's lap. When I wake up, I see a sign that says, 'Hershey, PA 100 miles away.' Brendon notices that I'm awake and kisses me on my lips, and I kiss him back.

He smiles and says, "We'll make it on time."

I lay my head on his shoulder and say, "That's amazing."

He laughs and whispers, "So how did you like last night?"

I sit up and look at him.

"That was also amazing except for the part where they came in," I whisper.

"Yeah, that was the only horrible part. The rest of it was beyond perfect," he whispers.

"Brendon I just want you to know how much I love you," I say.

"I know how much you love me, and I want you to know that I love you more than you love me," he says.

I can feel my face turning red.

I say, "No I love you more than you could ever possibly love me."

He opens his mouth to say something, but all that comes out is the sound of tires squealing. Before I know it, the bus is flipping over and glass goes flying everywhere. I can feel glass puncturing my skin as my head slams against something hard. I hear people screaming as I black out for a second, but I do notice that the bus is still rolling until it's stopped by a tree limb that comes crashing through the window beside my head. That's when everything dissolves into darkness.


	9. The IV  and Your Hospital Bed

When I wake up, I'm laying in a hospital bed connected to what seems like a sea of wires and machines. Patrick and Pete's sitting beside me. I try to talk, but I have a tube in my mouth. I try to wave my hand at them, but all it will do is barely move. But that movement is enough to catch Patrick's attention. He tells Pete to go get the doctor, and Pete runs out of the room. Patrick limps over to my side and grabs my hand.

"Listen to me. You're going to be alright. Just be still until the doctors come in here," he says.

The doctors come running in the room asking me questions left and right, and they finally decide to take me off all the machines.

Once they do that and leave the room, I softly ask, "How'd we get here?"

Pete says, "After the wreck, they had to airlift you and Brendon here. The rest of us had to go to a different hospital because are injuries weren't as serious."

I put a shaky hand on my head and ask, "Can one of you explain where the others are, what caused the wreck, and what everyone's injuries are?"

They exchange worried glances, but Patrick says, "We were hit from the back by a eighteen wheeler. The windows shattered, the tour bus flipped and rolled, and went in the woods. That's when a tree came through your and Brendon's window. The last thing I saw before we were rescued was Brendon pushing you out of the way....Then I remember seeing the EMTs putting a breathing tube down your throat, and them giving Brendon the same thing. I remember being taken to the hospital and being put in the same room as Pete. The injuries on us like I said are minor. I have a twisted ankle and wrist, Joe has a cracked rib, Andy has a broken arm, Pete had a sorta serious concussion, Dallon has a broken leg, and Kenneth has a broken wrist. You have a broken wrist and deep cuts, but you had a severe concussion, internal bleeding, almost lost your leg, would have spells where you would stop breathing, and you we're in a coma for a week and a half. But everyone has bruises and scratches. Everyone else are getting something to eat or around visiting," Patrick says.

My heart starts to beat faster because they never did mention Brendon.

"Tell me what's happening or happened to Brendon," I say getting louder with each word I say.

Again they give each other a worried glance, but Pete says, "He... um... they don't know if he'll live or not. He's still alive right now, but barely. When they rescued us, they found Brendon trapped beneath the tree and the seat. He was knocked out cold, and bleeding from the mouth. He barely had a pulse. When they got him here, they found out he had a broken leg, bleeding and swelling of the brain, and deep cuts. They had to do emergency surgery, and we're lucky he survived that. He's been in a coma everyday since then. The doctors' say that it's a very slim chance he'll make it through."

My world immediately comes crashing to a halt. I throw back the blankets and climb out of bed. As soon as I put pressure on my right leg, a red hot wave of pain shoots up it. I bite my lip to contain a gasp of pain. I hobble over to the door, but Pete and Patrick stand in the doorway.

"Get out of my way guys," I say.

"No, you get back in bed, so you won't rip your stitches, " Patrick demands.

"No, I'm going to see Brendon," I say.

Pete puts his hand on Patrick's shoulder and says, "Just go get a wheelchair or something, so she can go see him."

Patrick reluctantly goes and gets the wheelchair. I sit in it, and they roll me down the hallway to a ICU room. In the middle of the room, Brendon's laying on a hospital bed connected to a million machines.

Pete says, "Why don't we leave her alone. Come on, Dallon, Patrick, and Joe. "

As soon as they leave, I roll over to Brendon's side and hold his freezing cold hand. His face is completely drained of color and his arms and hands are bruised purple and blue. This is all because of me. I can't contain the tears any longer. They come pouring down my face.

"This can't be happening. Not to you... not to us. You should've let the tree crush me. I should be laying in your spot. You don't deserve this. I have to be dreaming. That's it... any moment I'll wake up in the hotel beside you, and we'll be wearing our underwear. I have to be dreaming," I whisper in his ear.

I pinch myself again and again, but I won't wake up.

"Okay this isn't a dream. I love you Breny Boo, don't leave me... don't leave all your friends and family and fans. You're my everything. Don't leave me in this messed up world. I can't live in a world where you don't exist... I can't. Fight for your life," I choke out the last few words.

As the tears continue to roll down my face, the beeping stops and turns into a continuous beep. Before I can even process what's going on, doctors and nurses come running in. They roll me out into the hallway and start to revive Brendon.


	10. Oh Memories Where'd You Go

"What's happening," Dallon asks me clearly upset.

"It went-t flat line," I whisper wiping tears from my face, but new tears come rolling down my face as soon as the old tears were gone.

"Come here," Patrick whispers pulling me into a hug.

I notice that his eyes are swelling up with tears. My doctor walks by us, and back steps when he realizes I'm sitting there.

"What are you doing out of bed? You should be saving up your strength," he says looking down at his clipboard.

"I came up here to see my boyfriend... um Brendon. I'll be back in the bed later," I whisper.

Minutes pass, until the doctors finally come out of the room. They have beads of sweat on their forehead, and a worried look is etched into their faces.

"So is he alive," Kenneth asks.

The lead doctor sighs and says, "Yes, but he's barely hanging on. If he ever wakes up.. which is a 5 percent chance, my colleagues, and I think that there will be some brain damage. Right now he's in a stable condition, but we don't want anyone going in there with him... Not after this. We'll notify one of you when it's safe to go in there."

I let out a sigh of relief. He's still fighting.

The doctors walk away, and Patrick turns to me and says, "You need to go back to bed and get some rest. You heard what the doctor said. No one can go in there until he gives us the thumbs up."

After countless hours of arguing, I finally agree to go back to my room. Dallon goes to get something for dinner, and brings back Chinese food for us to eat. They lay it out in front of me, but I just push it over to the side.

Andy says, "Come on, Erica, you have to eat. You haven't eaten actual food in about two weeks."

I mumble, "No," and roll over onto my side and cover my head with the pillow.

Later on, the doctor comes in to examine my leg.

After examining it for what seems like an hour, he finally looks at me and says, "You should've never gotten up. Your leg is badly swollen, so I'll give you antibiotics and a light dosage of pain killers. I'll be back in a few minutes," and with that he walks out of the room.

I look over to see Patrick, Andy, Joe, Dallon,and Kenneth all sleeping soundly. They must be give out. That's when the doctor walks back in with a tray that contains a IV bag, one pill, and a glass of water.

He sticks a needle in my hand, hands me the water and pill and says, "This pill is the pain killer and the IV is the antibiotic. Try and get some sleep."

I take the pill, and he walks out. About an hour later I fall asleep. When I wake up, I notice that everyone's dead asleep. I see my chance to go see Brendon. I grab the hospital bed and shakily stand up. I can't stop myself from letting out a gasp of pain. I grab the IV cart and start tiptoeing down the hallway. With each step I take, a shooting pain shoots up my leg. I finally reach the room and quietly open and shut the door. It almost looks like Brendon is sleeping, but I know otherwise. I drag one of the chairs to the side of his bed and lay my hand on his.

I wake up to a nurse asking, "What are you doing in here?"

"I umm... I asked a nurse if I could come in here and she said that I could. I must've fell asleep," I lie straight to the nurse's face.

She says, "I guess you can stay in here."

"Thank you," I say a little too loudly.

She walks around and checks Brendon's vitals. Everything looks stable, so she leaves me alone with him.

"Come on, Brendon wake up. Please, " I whisper.

That's when he squeezes my hand. I rub my eyes with my free hand. Did that really just happen?

"Brendon if you can hear me and if you did just squeeze my hand.... squeeze it again.... please, " I say a little more louder.

I watch his hands closely, and seconds later I see his fingers move. It's not a tight squeeze, but it's still a squeeze.

"Nurse," I yell.

The same nurse that was in the room a few minutes ago comes running in.

"What? What happened," she frantically asks.

"I swear I'm not lying when I say this, but Brendon just squeezed my hand twice," I excitedly say.

She runs out of the room and returns with a doctor.

He comes to Brendon's side, grabs his other hand, and says, "Brendon, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand."

He watches Brendon's hand closely, and it moves. "I can't believe this! This is the first time in the whole two weeks that he's responded. What did you say to him," the doctor asks me.

"I just said wake up please," I say trying to contain my excitement.   
Out of nowhere I hear someone saying, "Wake up. Wake up. Please wake up."

I jump and realize that I'm still in the hospital bed connected to the IV. Patrick's standing over me crying and holding my hand.

"What's going on Patrick, " I ask as I sit up.

"You started having a seizure, then your heart stopped beating, but the doctors finally got your vitals stable. We all thought you would go into another coma. I can't lose my little sister," Patrick says wiping the tears from his eyes.

I raise my eyebrows and ask, "All of that happened to me? I didn't feel a thing. I was just dreaming, but anyways can I umm go see Brendon?"

He laughs and says, "You're crazy. You aren't leaving this bed after what just happened to you. His condition's still the same."

As weeks pass, I do my daily routine of waking up, seeing Brendon, eating, and then going to sleep again. After 3 weeks pass the doctors prescribe me antidepressants, but I secretly dump them down the toilet when no one's looking. I'm not depressed, I just want to be there for Brendon. After 4 weeks, Brendon's condition is still the same, and I get released from the hospital. On the 5th week, I limp into Brendon's room and notice him moving his hand. I run over to his side and see his eyes open and a dazed look upon his face.

"Oh my God," I yell and drop my purse on the floor.

I quickly limp over to him and press the emergency button.

I lay my hand on his face and say, "Hey, I'm right here. Just stay awake... please."

When the last words come out of my mouth, the doctor, Pete, Patrick, Dallon, Andy, Joe, and Kenneth come running in the room. When their eyes land on Brendon, they stop dead in their tracks and stare at him with their mouths open.

The doctor quickly runs over to his side and takes out the breathing tube and asks, "Brendon, how are you feeling?"

He tilts his head slightly to the side and raises one eyebrow. That same puzzled look is still etched onto his face.

"I feel weird, but who are you," he weakly asks.

"I'm the doctor that's been taking care of you since you came here, " he steps to the side and points at me and the guys, "how about them? Do you know who they are?"

Brendon scratches his head and says, "No. Should I?"

My heart sinks as he says that.

"So you don't remember me, Brendon, " I quietly ask him.

He looks me dead in my eyes and asks, "No, but your voice sounds familiar. Who are you, and is Brendon my name?"

"I'm your girlfriend, and yes Brendon is your name," I whisper looking him in the eyes.

He looks like a wounded puppy as he says, "Oh I'm really sorry. I just.... I can't remember anything about me or anyone."

I try to compose myself and say, "Really it's okay. You've been through a lot in the last month. Don't worry about it."


	11. Milk Fanfiction

I walk out of the room with the doctor and the guys.

"Do you remember when I told you all that there would be a possibility of brain damage," the doctor asks.

We nod. "Well, this is the result of his brain being oxygen deprived for almost an hour. Now, his memory may come back in a matter of days, or it may never come back," the doctor informs us.

"So how do we help him regain his memory," Dallon asks.

"Once we think it's right to release him, you should take him back to his house. Get him familiar with all of you. Show him videos of once was. It's basically like you're trying to be very good friends with a stranger," the doctor says as he scratches his chin.

He walks away, and everyone stands in silent.

"I'll go get Taco Bell... his favorite," Kenneth mumbles as he walks down the hallway.

Andy and Joe decide to go, so they run after him.

I look at Patrick, Pete, and Dallon and ask, "Hey can you guys give me a second in there with him?"

"Yeah, sure," they all say.

I turn around and take a deep breath.

I knock on the door, and Brendon says, "You can come in."

I hesitantly walk inside. He sees me and smiles slightly.

"Hey," he awkwardly says.

"Hey," I say sitting down stiffly in the chair.

"Can you tell me about myself," he asks me.

"Yeah, what do you want to know," I reply.

"Well... everything that you know about me," he says.

"That's going to be hard to do because it would take me forever to talk about 27 years," I say laughing.

"Then what's some interesting things that I like to do? How would you describe me," he chuckles.

"You love to sing, write songs, play the drums, play guitar. Lets just say you're all about music. You also love being around your friends and fans. You're caring, awkward, weird but in a good way, amazing, you have this laugh that is infectious, and you make the most weird... but adorable faces," I say looking him in the eyes.

He smiles and says, "Now I can see why you're my girlfriend."

I smile, and he asks, "Wait did you just say fans?"

I suppress a laugh and say, "Yes, a massive fan base. You have extremely loyal and crazy fans all over the world. You're the lead singer of a band called Panic! At the Disco. The fans have been really, really upset lately because you've been in a coma for a little over a month. They'll be glad to hear you're out of it."

"You have to be joking," he asks in disbelief.

"I'm not. I can show you if you want me to," I say.

"Okay," he says nodding.

I grab my laptop off of the table and type 'Panic at the Disco live 2014.' Pictures of Brendon shirtless on stage with a bunch of bras on his microphone stand immediately pops up.

I turn the screen toward him and say, "See."

He gives me a quizzical look and asks, "Umm why do I have a bunch of bras on the microphone stand, and why is my shirt off?"

I look at him smiling and say, "Because all the girls love throwing their bras at you, and you love making them go crazy by taking your shirt off."

He looks at me with a slanted smile and asks, "And have I ever made you go crazy and throw your bra at me?"

I look at him in complete shock and say, "Brendon, you just came out of a coma and you're already asking these questions. I'm shocked, but no I've never thrown my bra at you, but you have made me go crazy."

He laughs and says, "Well then that's going to be my goal from now on."  
I blush and pull up a gif of him taking off his pants and stripping down to his underwear during a performance.

"So I'm a musician and a stripper," he asks.

"No, like I said you like teasing me and the fans," I say trying not to laugh.

"How have I teased you," he asks me doing his eyebrows up and down.

"That's for me to know and you to remember sooner or later," I say smiling.

I continue to show him videos and pictures.

When he sees a picture of him and Ryan kissing, he asks, "Woah, woah what?"

I bust out laughing and say, "Yeah, that's you and Ryan. Your fans ship it, and so do I little bit."

"So I actually kissed him," he asks clearly embarrassed.

"Yeah. The fans are split between Brallon and Ryden," I say smiling.

He runs his fingers through his hair and asks, "What's Brallon?"

"Another ship between you and Dallon," I yell for Dallon, Patrick, and Pete.

They come slowly walking in.

I point at Dallon and say, "Brallon is you and this guy, Dallon."

Dallon puts his head in his hands and sighs, "Please don't tell me you've started him out on the ships and fanfictions?"

I shake my head and say, "Nooo, I was showing him pictures of y'all on stage and he saw a picture of him and Ryan kissing, and he wanted to know so I told him."

Brendon says, "Technically you haven't showed me the fanfictions... whatever they are."

I turn around as fast as I can and say, "Ohhhh this is going to be good. I have one warning for you and that's to prepare yourself for what you're about to read. It's pretty r rated."

"You're going to emotionally scar him if you show him the fanfiction, " Dallon says.

"If he wants to read it, let him. He's read it before," I say trying to find it.

"Yea, but that was when he remembered everything and laughed it off," Dallon says.

"I'll start him off with some basic ones, and we'll work our way up to that big one," I say hiding my smile.

"Wait, what fanfiction don't you want him reading, Dallon," Patrick asks.

"Don't tell him. He needs to read it for himself," I say laughing.

Pete and Patrick look at each other, and Pete asks, "Just what did you do with your free time when you were younger?"

"People would send me links to different fanfictions and I read them," I say smiling.

Brendon chimes in, "Did you find it yet?"

"Ughhh where is it? Oh there it is, but we need to start you off with some minor ones," I say.

I hand him the laptop, and he starts to read the first one, a Ryden fanfiction. His facial expressions are a mixture between horror and confusion.

Finally, he asks, "Why do they have me as the overbearing one?"

"I don't know," I say laughing quietly.

"Come on, don't show him," Dallon mumbles.

I take the laptop and click on a Brallon fanfiction.

"Here ya go. A Brallon fanfic," I say smiling at Dallon.

"Oh my God. I'm going to go see where Kenneth, Joe, and Andy are, " Dallon mumbles walking out of the room. 

Brendon's facial expressions are the same as when he was reading the last one.

When he finishes, I ask, "Are you sure you're ready for the big one?"

He takes a deep breath, runs his fingers through his hair, and says, "Yeah, I'm ready. Lets do this."

I hand him the laptop and say, "Patrick, Pete come and read this."

They stand on each side of him and start to read it. Immediately, all of their faces twist into confusion.

As Brendon's reading it, he puts his head in his hands and mumbles, "What the hell."

He even gags a couple of times. I can't help but to laugh. Patrick's and Pete's facial expressions make me laugh harder. Brendon's face looks like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. I bend over to try to stop laughing, but I can't. My face and stomach starts hurting, and tears start rolling down my face. When they get done reading it, Brendon shuts the laptop. I can't say anything from laughing, so I just look at them. They're staring off into space with their mouths open.

Finally Pete speaks up and says, "I cannot believe you of all people would read that."

I just laugh. Pete and Patrick walk over and sit down clearly stunned. Brendon continues to sit there with his mouth open.

I finally stop laughing long enough to ask, "Are you okay Brendon?"

He finally looks at me and whispers, "What the hell did I just read?"

I bust out laughing again.

In between laughs I say, "The Ryden Milk Fic."

"Now I see why milk's in the title. I have no words left. None. Whatsoever."

I bend over and start laughing my head off.


	12. Planning the Surprise

Andy, Joe, Kenneth, and Dallon come walking in with food to find me laughing your head off, Patrick and Pete stunned, and Brendon petrified.

"What in the...," Andy asks.

I'm too busy laughing to answer, so Dallon says, "The milk fanfiction."

"Oh that explains everything, " Kenneth says.

I finally stop laughing in enough time to help give Brendon his food.

When he takes a bite, he says, "Wow, this is really good. Where's this from?"

Joe lets out a laugh and says, "Taco Bell. It says it right on the cup."

"Oh yeah right I knew that," Brendon says with a full mouth.

"Does it taste familiar, " I ask.

He shakes his head and says, "No. I'm sorry. "

"It's okay. It'll take some time for you to remember," I say.

After we get done eating, the doctor walks in with his clipboard.

"Well, I have some good news. Brendon's vitals look fine. He can go home tomorrow," the doctor says.

The doctor hands Brendon paper work and walks out of the room.

Brendon quietly asks, "Um where do I live?"

"We'll show you tomorrow," I turn to Patrick and ask, "Can I talk to you alone?"

He nods, and we walk outside to the hallway.

"I want to go with Dallon and Kenneth when they stay at Brendon's house to help him. I could help him remember stuff. School doesn't start for another month. You can finish up the tour, and I can go home when school starts. Last I remember, mom was expecting me to be gone all summer," I say.

Patrick sighs and asks, "You promise me you won't get into any trouble?"

I nod and say, "Promise. "

"Then you can go. I'll call mom and tell her," he says.

"Thank you," I say hugging him.

Later on that night, I say goodbye to Patrick, Pete, Andy, and Joe. They have to start up the tour again since they are well. After that, I go to the hotel with Dallon and Kenneth, and we start packing up for the flight tomorrow.

The Next Morning 

When I walk into Brendon's hospital room, he's standing next to the window looking out. He's wearing skinny jeans, a grey tshirt, and a black leather jacket. I lightly knock on the door, and he turns around smiling.

"Hey," he says.

"Hey, you ready to go," I ask.

He picks up his bag and says, "Yea."

"Dallon and Kenneth are talking to the doctor at the front desk. We've already packed your stuff at the hotel last night. Now, all you need to do is sign the release papers, and we can be on our way to the airport," I say.

As we walk down the hallway, he stutters, "Airp-port with planes that fly in the sky?"

I laugh and say, "Yes, it isn't that scary Brendon. "

I look back at him and see that his hands are clearly shaking. We finally reach the front desk, and Brendon signs the papers. We start to walk toward the hospital exit, but before we can get 50 feet from the door, we hear thousands of screams coming from outside.

"What's that," Brendon nervously asks.

Dallon looks at him and says, "The fans."

Kenneth looks at him and says, "Prepare yourself for the crazy yet amazing mayhem."  
Right when we walk out of the hospital, a deafening sound of screaming hits you. Brendon jumps when he first hears the screaming. Girls and boys left and right are yelling for Brendon, Dallon, and Kenneth.

Dallon leans over and screams, "Hey, we have enough time to sign a couple of things and meet some fans, so do you want to?!"

I nod my head and scream, "Yea if Brendon is!"

Brendon screams, "Yea, but can you come with me?"

I smile slightly and scream, "Sure!"

When those words escape my mouth, he wraps his hand around mine, and we walk toward the nearest crowd of screaming fans. Local police had set up a barrier to keep the fans separate from the hospital walkway. In the front of the crowd, there's girls and boys screaming... some of them are crying.

They scream things like, "Brendon oh my God I love you!" "I'm so glad you're okay!" "Do you remember who Ryan is?" "Do you remember the milk fanfic?"

Everyone's screaming at once, and Brendon starts squeezing my hand tighter and tighter.

"It's okay," I mouth.

He takes a deep breath, and starts taking pictures with fans. He smiles shyly as cameras flash here and there. The first time someone hands him a pen, he looks back at me and makes a confused look.

"Sign it," I yell over the noise.

He makes the I have an idea face and starts signing things left and right. After 30 minutes, the guys and I take a picture for the news and head to the SUV. The guys are holding dolls of themselves, cds, books, everything that I can imagine. I even received things. After, an hour we arrive at the airport. We can't bring the gifts on the airplane, so they will be mailed later on. Brendon and I sit in front of Kenneth and Dallon.

"Are ya nervous, " I ask Brendon.

"No," he says a little too quickly.

Just then the plane starts going down the runway. Brendon jumps and quickly grabs my hand.

"So you aren't afraid," I ask sarcastically.

"Fine, I am," he admits grasping my hand tighter.

"You big chicken, " I laugh.

"Be quiet or I'll have to make you," he says laughing nervously.

"Oh really, how," I say leaning in toward him.

He leans in the rest of the way and presses his warm lips against mine. A million memories before the accident flash through my mind. Suddenly the plane jerks, and Brendon jumps back, but as he does that he bites my lip.

I gasp in pain and he says, "Oh shit, I'm sorry."

He presses himself back into the seat and digs his fingers into the armrests.

"It's okay. There's no blood, and it's funny seeing you afraid which you rarely are," I say laughing at him.

He looks out the window. As soon as he does, he lets out a quiet shriek.

I start laughing my head off, and Dallon's head pops up and asks, "Was that you or Brendon?"

I point at him, and Dallon and Kenneth start laughing.

"Be quiet! We're going to die! The plane's going to fall out of the sky! A bird's going to fly into the engine, and make the plane stop working," Brendon urgently whispers.

I finally get my laughter under control. I reach down and grab my Ipod out of my purse.

"Here, listen to this. It'll help you calm down," I say as I hand him a earbud.

I play 'A Fever You Can't Sweat Out.,' and I notice that he's tapping his toes.

"Who's this by because they're really good," he asks.

"Ummm... a pretty cool band. See if you can remember, " I say smiling.  
My phone starts to vibrate, and I pull it out of my pocket. There's 3 missed calls and 17 text messages.

Most of the texts say, 'When are you going to be landing?' 'Where's the spare key?' 'How's he doing?' 'This is going to be the best surprise in the history of surprises!' 'Hey, Erica!!!' 'Answer the phoneee.' I quickly reply to the three stooges, and pull up another text from my friend, Jess. She texted, "Hey, are you okay? How's Brendon doing?" I text, "We're both fine, and we're on our way to his house. I have this big surprise for Dallon, Kenneth, and him. I'll be staying there with him until school starts."

"Who's that," Brendon asks leaning over taking the earbud out.

"Just texting my friend back home," I quickly say and put my phone back in my pocket.

"About what," he asks.

"She wants to know how we're doing," I say.

"Oh. She knows me," he asks.

"Oh yeah. She meet you at Patrick's party. At first, she was fangirling and everything, but then she was fine. Actually, she got drunk, and that's when she started to have a great time," I tell him.

"Well then. I can tell she's a good friend. Shouldn't we be getting some sleep? It's already 1 in the morning," he yawns.

"I guess we should. We're going to be in California in about 5 hours," I say stretching.

I hesitantly lay my head on his shoulder, and he wraps his arm around me. I finally fall asleep. I wake up to Dallon tapping me and Brendon the shoulder.

"Huh," I mumble.

"I'm up," Brendon mumbles.

"We just landed in Cali," Dallon says.

I grab my purse and stuff my ipod in it, and everyone unloads the plane. As we walk down the steps, Brendon puts his arm around my waist. I smile and tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. After we get our luggage, we're greeted by a couple of fans. 'How did they find out that we were going to be here,' I think.

A girl with purple hair wearing a Panic! At the Disco shirt and shorts nervously walks up to Brendon and asks, "Can I have a picture with all of you?"

"Sure," Brendon shyly says.

We pose for the picture. After all the fans are gone, we walk out of the airport and get in the car.

"How far are we from my house," Brendon asks looking out the window.

"About twenty minutes away. You live 3 blocks away from the beach," I say pulling out my phone.

'Hey, we're about twenty minutes from his house. Where are you at," I text my best friends who are my secret suprises for the guys.

'Hey, we're about forty minutes from Brendon's house,' he responds.

'Okay, park around the block, and I'll come meet y'all,' I text back.

'Okayy,' he texts back.

"Why are you always on your phone," Brendon leans over and asks.

I quickly put my phone up and say, "That's for me to know, and for you to find out."

"So that's how we're going to play this game," he whispers.

"Trust me you'll love what I'm working on," I whisper.

He smiles and looks out the window.

"This place looks familar," he quietly says.

"That's because it's your house," I say.

"It's not a house. It's a freaking mansion," he exclaims.

"I know," I say smiling.

Dallon parks the car, and we get out.


	13. The Drunk Mistake

Kenneth opens the trunk of the car, and Brendon grabs his suitcase and mine.

"I could've gotten it, Brendon," I say.

"I don't care. I wanted to get it," he says.

My phone vibrates and the text says, 'Okay we're on 4th Freemont Street.'

'Okay. Got to find the right time to come,' I text back.

I turn around to look at Brendon and say, "Fine. You can carry my suitcase into the house. I'm going to check the mailbox."

I turn around and quickly walked down the mile long driveway. I constantly keep looking behind my back to make sure no one's following me. I finally reach the mailbox and grab the mail. I continue to walk quickly on the sidewalk. After five minutes, I finally reach 4th Freemont Street. There's a car parked, and three men are standing outside of it.

"Hey," I say waving at them.

"Hey," they all say at the same time.

They pull me into a hug.

"You ready to go," he asks.

"Yea," I say nodding.

We get in the car. After two minutes, we pull into the driveway.

"Just let me get out first. Then, you guys can get out," I say.

We park, and I get out. Brendon, Dallon and Kenneth walk out of the house.

"Okay, you guys can get out," I say looking back at the car.

Out steps Ryan, Spencer, and Jon. Dallon and Kenneth's mouths drop open. They finally compose themselves and walk toward Ryan, Spencer, and Jon. They all give each other hugs. I walk over to Brendon and lead him toward the guys.

"Brendon this is Jon, Ryan, and Spencer," I say.

"Hey," Brendon says looking at the guys.

"Hey," they say hugging him.

"Let's go to the beach and have a reunion thingy," Kenneth says.

Ryan, Jon, and Spencer get their suitcases out of their car, and we walk in.

I grab Brendon's hand and say, "Come on, I'll show you your room, but first we have to get our swimsuits."

We unzip our suitcases and get our swimsuits. We walk upstairs to the last room on the right.

"Is that the Ryan that those fanfics were about," he asks me when we shut his bedroom door.

"Yea," I say walking into the adjoining bathroom. I take off my clothes and put on my swimsuit. When I walk out of the bathroom, I find Brendon in his swim trunks shirtless.

I smile a little bit, and Brendon says, "Damn, don't you look good in a bikini."

"And don't you look good shirtless," I say blushing.

We walk back downstairs to find everyone in their swimsuits.

"Ready to go," Ryan asks.

"Yeah," Brendon says awkwardly.

Fifteen Minutes Later...

We lay out beach towels and set up chairs. I lay down on the beach towel, and Brendon sits down beside me.

"So how did you manage to pull this off, Erica," Dallon asks.

"It wasn't that hard. I mean they wanted to visit us when they heard about it, but they were busy. I told them that they could come out here to help us try and get Brendon's memory back. Ian couldn't make it, but he said that he'll visit as soon as he can. I can be sneaky when I want to. Now, I'm going to go swim," I say getting up.

The sand is warm beneath my feet. The sun's beating down making it warmer by the second. The waves are big. I keep walking until I get into water that's waist deep. I turn around around to see Brendon walking toward me, and the rest of the guys drinking beer sitting under the umbrella talking. I'm to busy looking back to notice the wave coming at me. When it hits, I get knocked off of my feet. I feel someone helping me up, and I realize that it's Brendon.

"You're supposed to avoid getting knocked down," he sarcastically says.

"I know that," I say putting my hair into a ponytail.

"So what are we going to do out here," he asks smiling.

"I was going to swim out there," I say pointing out toward the open ocean.

"You can't go all the way out there. There could be sharks and the current. You couldn't even handle the wave," he says laughing.

"Fine. Then what do we do," I sigh.

"Marko Polo," he says.

"Okay, you go first," I say.

He closes his eyes and say, "Marco."

"Polo," I say wading toward the shore.

"Marco," he laughs.

"Polo," I whisper.

I stop, and he wades past me with his arms out searching for me. I walk up to him and tap him on the back, and then I quickly move to the side. He jumps and misses me completely. He ends up falling in the water. I laugh, and he comes up laughing.

"That's not how you play Marco Polo," Brendon laughs.

"I know, but that was funny," I say laughing.

We head toward the guys. When we get there, Ryan has a beach ball out.

"Lets go play it," he says slightly slurring his words.

He walks over to a free net that no one's at. On Brendon's team, it's me, Spencer, and Ryan. On Dallon's team it's Jon and Kenneth. Ryan hits the ball over the net, and Jon hits it back over the net. The ball comes toward me, and I completely miss the ball.

They laugh, and I say, "Shut up. I'm not good at sports."

Jon says, "This isn't a sport, Erica."

"It is to me, Jon," I reply.

"It's not so hard if ya have a drink," Ryan says.

"You know I don't drink. Plus, I'm underage," I say as they start to sit down again.

"Everyone's done it as a teenager. They just don't responsible adults helping them manage how much they drink," Dallon says getting out two beers.

"You're all tipsy, and I promised Patrick that I wouldn't get in trouble," I say sitting down on the beach towel.

Dallon hands Brendon and me a beer. Brendon takes a sip, and sits down beside me. I reluctantly take a sip. It burns a little as it slides down my throat, but it tastes amazing. I need to prove to them that I'm not some nerdy kid. I chug it all down in thirty seconds flat.

"Woah, not that fast," Ryan says.

"Why not? I don't even feel a thing," I say.

I grab another beer out of the cooler and drink it all in less than a minute. That's when my head starts to get foggy.

"Erica slow down," Brendon says.

"I don't wanna," I slur laughing.

"Okay, no more for you," Brendon says taking the empty beer out of my hand.

"Nooooo, Breny Bear, it's amazing," I slur reaching toward the cooler.

"Breny Boo," he asks doing his eyebrow up.

"That's a nickname she has for you," Dallon says.

"Oh, it's cute," he says smiling and running his fingers through his hair.

When I lay my hand on the cooler, Spencer says, "No more for you."

"Whyyyy," I whine.

"Because you don't know how to handle alcohol," he says sitting on top of the cooler.

"Do so," I slur crossing my arms.

"Don't so," Brendon chimes in.

I lay down and put my head it Brendon's lap and mumble, "I'm tired."

He tucks the loose strands of hair behind my ear and says, "It's because you're drunk and tired."

"Imma go to sleep," I mumble rolling over.

"You can't go to sleep on the beach laying on my lap in a bikini, Erica," he says.

"I can if I wanna," I quietly mumble.

"Dude, what are you going to do," Ryan asks trying not to laugh.

"Take her back to my house," he suggests shrugging his shoulders.

"I'll go back with you and help," Spencer says.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Brendon says.

"It's fine. You can't handle her alone," Spencer says standing up.

Brendon starts to nudge me up.

"What," I mumble.

"We're going back home," he says helping me up.

"No," I pout sitting down again.

"Come on, get up," Brendon says helping me up again.

I shake my head and start to fall down again.

"Fine," Brendon mumbles picking me up.

Spencer puts the towel over me.

I lay my head on Brendon's shoulder, and he carries me to the car.

"She's soaking wet. How are we going to dry her off so that she won't ruin the car," Spencer asks.

"Ummm.... how many extra beach towels do we have," Brendon asks.

"Lets see, we have one, two, three, four. We have four," Spencer says.

"Okay, lay the first one on the seat," Brendon says as Spencer spreads the towel on the seat.

He lays me down, and I feel towels being wrapped around me.

"There we go," he proudly says.

I finally fall asleep. When I wake up, I'm laying on the couch wrapped in beach towels.

"What happened," I slur rubbing my head.

"Well, you got drunk after two beers," Spencer says.

"Come on, a cold shower'll help you sober up," Brendon says getting up.

"Wait how do you remember that," I slur staggering up.

"I remember some stuff," he says wrapping his arm around my waist.

We walk upstairs to the bathroom.

"I think I have it from here, Brendon," I say taking the towels off of me.

"Are you sure," he asks leaning toward me.

"I might need help untying the back strap," I say smiling.

"That I can do," he says as I turn around

As his finger tips brush my skin, I get goose bumps. He slowly unties the strap. Brendon shuts the door, and I turn around. He starts kissing my mouth, and slowly works his way to my cheek bone. He pushes me against the wall and slowly unties the string around my neck. My bikini top falls off, and he takes his swimsuit off. He slips my bikini bottoms off. I grab his hand and lead him into the shower. We turn the water on, and he presses me up against the wall.

"I thought I was coming up here to take a shower," I whisper.

"Well, we both need one," Brendon smirks.

"Brendon... I haven't done this before... ever," I quietly whisper.

"Don,'t worry. I'll go easy," he whispers

"I don't even know what to do," I whisper.

"It'll all come to you," he says kissing my mouth.

All my worries seem to slip away. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. Brendon starts kissing my neck. I let out a small moan. The cold water runs down our bodies, but we don't care. We're only worried about each other.

Thirty Minutes Later.....

We walk out of the shower, and Brendon leads me to his bed. We're both soaking wet. I lay in the bed, and he climbs on top of me smirking.

"Ready for round whatever," Brendon whispers.

"Do you have to even ask," I say smiling.

Twenty Minutes Later.....

We lay there in his bed just staring at the ceiling. His arm's around my shoulders, and I'm curled up against him with my leg over him. The last hour was filled with desire. There was a lot of moaning each other's name from the both of us. The shower's a total wreck. The bed's wet with water. At first, he started off gentle, but he eventually grew more aggressive. He made every single muscle of my body feel alive.

"I love you, Brendon," I whisper.

"I love you too, Erica," he whispers.

I turn over and look at him.

"Do you remember anything," I ask

He sits up and leans on his elbows.

"Some things have came back," he says.

"When," I excitedly ask.

"As we were having sex. Some of the memories came back," he says.

"Like....," I ask looking at him.

"I remember who Ryan, Dallon, Spencer, Kenneth, Jon, Patrick, Pete, Andy, Joe, and you are. I remember the accident, and bits and pieces of my childhood," he says looking at me.

"Do you remember anything else about me? Like our dates and stuff," I nervously ask.

"No, but I'm sure they'll come back," he whispers kissing me on my lips.

"Hey, did you two drown in there? We have food," Spencer laughs knocking on the door.

"We completely forgot about them," I whisper looking at Brendon.

"Well, lets go eat," Brendon smirks.

I get out of bed and grab the towel.

I put it around me and say, "Ummm... Brendon all my clothes are in my room... across the hallway."

He smiles and hands me a black tshirt and a pair of his shorts. I smile and take them from him. I walk to the bathroom and put them on. The shorts are too big, so I have to tighten the draw string. I braid my damp hair. Brendon's waiting by the bedroom door wearing nothing but shorts. We walk out of the room and down the stairs.

When we get in the kitchen, Spencer says, "We thought you two had drowned in the shower."

My face turns red, and I ask, "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, Brendon never came back down here after he went upstairs to help you to the shower, and we heard things," Spencer laughed.

"It sounded like a earthquake up there," Jon laughed.

"Oh my God," I say as I put my head in my hands.


	14. How Did a Wonderful Day Turn Sour?

"Let's not talk about it because I think that's making her uncomfortable," Brendon says wrapping his arm around me.

"Okay," Dallon laughs.

"We have pizza," Kenneth says sitting down on the couch.

"Pizza," I run over, grab a plate, and put two slices of cheese pizza on it.

Brendon walks over and puts four slices of pepperoni on top of my slices. He walks over and fixes a coke for him and sweet tea for me. We walk over to the opposite side of the couch and sit down.

"I remember who you guys are," Brendon speaks up.

"While you two were," Ryan says.

"Yes, he did. Shut up Ryan," I say embarassed.

"Fine. Fine. I'll shut up about that," he says taking a bite of his pizza.

After we get done eating, I play Pretty Odd. Everyone starts singing along except Brendon. He sits there confused.

"That's the band you showed me on the plane that I liked," he says.

I pull the lyrics up to Nine in the Afternoon and hand my phone to Brendon.

"Here's the lyrics. Just sing along and see if you remember it," I say.

He hesitantly sings, "'Cause it's nine in the afternoon , and your eyes are the size of the moon, you could, 'cause you can, so you do, we're feeling so good, just the way that we do."

His voice sounds exactly like the track. As he's singing, his eyes light up with suprise.

"See, you can sing," I excitedly yell.

"It does feel and sound familiar, and I can't believe I did that," he exclaims.

"But you did," I exclaim.

"So that really is me and them," he asks.

"Yes, that's what I've been trying to tell you," I say.

After an hour of listening to the whole album, everyone decides to go to sleep. I stop when Brendon an I get to our rooms. I don't know where to go.

"Come sleep in my room tonight," he quietly says.

"How about you come sleep in my room tonight," I nervously say. 

He smirks and says, "Okay."

I smile, and we walk into my room. I grab my pajamas and go into the bathroom and change. When I come out, Brendon's stripped down to his boxers. He's laying in my bed. I blush and lay down in the bed. He wraps his arm around me and kisses me on the forehead. I roll over and face him. He's smiling and looking down at me.

"I want to sleep in tomorrow," I mumble.

"Fine. We need sleep in anyway," he says smiling.

He turns out the light, and we go to sleep.

** The Next Morning**

I wake up and roll over to see Brendon facing me, with one arm over his face, his mouth open, and droll on his face. I smile and grab my phone off of the nightstand. I take a picture of him and send it to everyone in my contacts. Then I grab his phone and get on his instagram.

I take a picture and add the caption 'Woke up to this adorable snoring thing ~hacked by Erica :*'

I post it, and it immeditaely starts getting likes. I get on his vine account and take a video.

I whisper, "Isn't this adorable?"

I turn the camera toward him, and I press play. He's snoring and I post it. I lay his phone back on the nightstand and notice that it's 1 in the afternoon. He looks so peaceful, so I sneak out of the bed. I walk downstairs and no one's there. I walk upstairs, and see that everyone's still asleep. I sigh and lay back down on the bed. I open the texts on my phone, and a skype video call with Jessica pops up.

I open it, and I see Jessica's sitting down outside somewhere.

"Hey, Erica," she says a little too loudly.

"Hey, Jess. Do you mind talking just a little bit quieter," I ask.

"Yeah sure. Why," she asks.

"Brendon's asleep," I say.

"Oh, so you two are sleeping together," she asking smiling.

"In a totally friendly way... not the way you're thinking," I say blushing.

"Something happened! I can tell you're lying," Jess excitedly says.

"Nothing happened Jess," I say again smiling this time.

"Come on Erica you can tell me anything. You're the first person I tell when something like that happens," she says smiling.

"Fine... we did it yesterday," I shyly mumble.

"I can't believe you finally did it! Was it good," she shrieks.

"Yes. It went from the shower to the bedroom," I say laughing.

"Oh that must've been some steamy sex. Well, I'll leave you two alone. I'll call you back later," she says.

"Oh my God, Jess... Okay talk to you later," I say ending the call.

I lay the phone back on the nightstand and lay back down.

"What," Brendon asks smiling.

"Oh my God, you scared me," I say.

"How did I scare you? I've been laying here," Brendon laughs.

"Because you were just asleep," I say.

"I've been faking it for quiet some time now," he says.

"When," I quickly ask blushing.

"When you started to talk about the steamy sex in the shower," Brendon whisper smirking.

"Oh that," I say biting my lip.

"Yes that," he says pulling me closer to him.

He smiles, and I whisper, "You shouldn't ease drop on people's conversations."

"I wanted to hear your feedback on it," he whispers pulling me on top of him.

"It was amazing, but we can't tell Patrick," I whisper in his ear.

Brendon slips his hands under my shirt and kisses me.

"Brendon, we can't do this. The guys wanted to go take surf classes," I whisper.

"Ughh. Fine," he whines.

I get off of him and climb off of the bed. He follows and puts on pants. I grab my other swim suit out of the dresser and go in the bathroom to put it on. I walk out, and Brendon's in his swim trunks.

"Do you think that they'll have wetsuits or something," I ask messing with the string around my neck.

"Hopefully not," he says.

"I hope so because I don't want me falling off, and the top coming undone," I say putting my hand on my hip.

"If it comes off, that's a plus for me," he smirks.

I smile and walk out of the bedroom.

Ryan sticks his head out and yells, "Tell Jon and Dallon to wake up. We have to leave in like ten minutes!"

Jon comes hopping out of his room trying to put on shoes. He ends up falling in the floor.

"Oh shit... that hurt," Jon mumbles while Ryan, Brendon, and I laugh.

Fifteen minutes later, Brendon, me, and Ryan are in one car, and Dallon, Kenneth, Spencer, and Jon are in the other.

"I can't believe we're going to be late," Ryan says checking his phone.

"Calm down, Ryan," Brendon laughs as he looks in the rear view mirror.

About ten minutes later, we're standing on the beach with the instructors.

There was one instructor for two of us.

"Um do we have to wear wet suits," I ask the head instructor.

"Yes, to protect your skin from the sharp edges of the surf board," Calvin says.

He hands us the wet suits, and we put them on.

"Can you zip this up," I ask Brendon.

He smirks and says, "Only if you can zip me up."

"Okay," I say smiling.

He zips me up, and then I zip him up. He turns around, and I laugh.

"What," he asks laughing.

"It's just so tight down there," I say laughing.

"Of course you would be looking," he says laughing.

"Brendon and Ryan can go with me," a instructor named Ashley says.

Brendon looks at her then looks at me. He makes a confused face, and I hesitantly nod. There's a ping of jealousness, but I quickly brush it to the side. He wouldn't ever do that.

"Dallon and Jon can come with me," another instructor named Meagan says.

"Spencer and Kenneth can come with me," a instructor named Rachel says.

"And you're with me," Calvin says handing me a surfboard.

"I'm going to die. Those waves are huge," I say.

"if you know how to swim you won't," he says laughing.

He walks toward the water, and I follow him. We finally reach the part of the ocean where it's deep enough to surf.

"Okay, we'll start you off sitting down on the surfboard," Calvin says.

I nod my head and sit down on the surfboard. I look back and a huge wave is coming. I close my eyes and grab onto the edges of the surfboard. The wave comes, and I surprisingly stay on it. Hours after practicing sitting and partially standing up, he finally thinks I'm ready to stand up. I shakily stand up, and a wave comes. I take deep breaths and focus on staying upright. When the wave hits, I stay on for maybe twenty seconds then I go crashing into the water. As I go under, I hit my head on the side of the surfboard. I come up coughing, and Calvin's helping me.

"You must've hit your head on something because it's bleeding. We need to get that cleaned up. I think you're done for the day," he says.

"Okay," I mumble.

We work our way to the beach and to the shack where my clothes are. I change into shorts and a tanktop. I wash the blood off of my forehead, and Calvin puts a band aide on it.

"I think I'm going to go grab my phone from Brendon's gym bag," I say walking away.

As I get closer to the room where the guys' things are, I hear loud sounds. What in the world? I peek around the corner to see Brendon kissing Ashley. He has her pressed up against the lockers kissing her on the neck, and she's quietly moaning. My heart breaks into a million pieces.


	15. Feeling Under the Weather

Tears start streaming down my face. I quietly run in the opposite direction. As I round the corner, I run into Dallon.

"Hey. Why are you crying," he asks.

"Go see for yourself," I mumble running out the shack.

I don't stop running until I reach the sidewalk, and then I start to walk down the sidewalk. How could he do this to me? Just this morning everything was going fine. I quickly wipe the tears from my face, but new one's start to roll down my face. Images of the two devouring each other in the room pops into my head. My heart feels like it has a two ton elephant sitting on it. I finally reach the house, and I unlock the door. I stumble upstairs to my room and lock the door. I slide down the door and put my head in my hands. Everything feels broken inside. I sit there crying for what feels like forever. That's when I hear a knock on my door.

"Erica... let me explain," Brendon says.

"Go away asshole," I say wiping tears from my face.

"Please, let me explain," he begs.

"Go. Away," I say.

"Dude, just give her space," Ryan says.

"Not to be mean, but you screwed up big time," Jon says.

I hear them walking away. Then I hear a knock on the door.

"Can I come in," Dallon asks.

"Why," I mumble.

"I don't know," he says.

I reach up and unlock the door. I don't stand up, but I just scoot to the side. Dallon comes in and looks at me. He shuts the door and sits down beside me.

"Come here," he says wrapping his arms around me.

"How he could he do this to me Dal," I ask crying.

"Everyone messes up, but he was extremely wrong for doing that," he says looking down at me.

"I never want to see him again," I mumble.

"Don't say that. Just calm down," Dallon says.

"The next chance I get, I'm going back home," I say.

"Talk to him first," Dallon says.

I don't say anything. Dallon get up and sticks his hand out. I hesitantly take it. I wipe the tears from my face, and we walk out of my room. We walk downstairs, and they're all sitting in the living room. Brendon has his head in his hands. He looks up and stands up.

"Erica hear me out please," he says.

I don't say anything. I just sit down on the couch in between Ryan and Dallon.

"She told Ryan to practice on standing up because she said that I had to go with her to sign a wavier that she forgot to give me. When we got in the room, she came onto me. I didn't make the first move... she planned it all out," Brendon explains.

"That isn't what it looked like," I mumble glancing at him.

"I don't know what happened after that. Things just got out of hand," he says.

"I don't believe you," I whisper.

"It's the truth. Please forgive me. I made a huge mistake. I screwed up big freaking time. I love you. You're the only one that I could ever love. Just give me one more chance," he pleads.

I look him in the eyes, and he has this sincere look on his face. All the fun times that we've had flashes in my head.

"Fine. One more chance. That's all you get," I mumble.

"Thank you," he says.

He gets up and hugs me. I just stand there. It'll take awhile for things to get back like they were. I hope I made the right choice. God, I'm such a softie.

"I have some news to hopefully get rid of all this tenseness," Kenneth says.

"We have a show coming up in five days," he says.

"What," Dallon says looking at Brendon and Kenneth.

"Yeah, Pete told me about it last night. It's about a hour from here. We'll start off with small shows. Then we'll start the tour up again," Kenneth says.

"So that means that Brendon is going to have to learn all of the songs in 5 days," Ryan asks.

"How am I going to do that," Brendon asks.

"Learn as many as you can and then we can have a teleprompter in the background," Kenneth says.

Kenneth pulls out a folder and hands it to Brendon.

"Here's the lyrics to the songs and sheet music. We have to start practicing now," Kenneth says looking at Dallon and Brendon.

Brendon looks down at me, and I say, "You guys can go ahead and practice. My heads killing me anyway from where the surf board hit me on my head."

"Are you sure you're fine," Brendon asks with a concerned look on his face.

"Yes. I'm just going to go take a shower and go to bed," I say walking upstairs.

I can't help but to feel weird around him now. I can't even believe I let that slide that easily. I walk into my room and lock the door. My rooms a complete mess. There's clothes thrown on the end of the bed, dirty clothes are in a pile in the corner of the room. I peek in the bathroom and there's a small stack of dirty towels in the basket. I sigh and grab the basket. I throw all of the clothes that are on my bed into the basket. My head starts pounding. I wince and gently lay my hand on it. I continue to throw the dirty clothes into the basket. As I bend down to get the last one, my head starts pounding ten times harder. The next thing I see is blackness engulfing me. When I wake up, I'm laying on the floor. I hear knocking on the bedroom door.

"Hey, Erica we've been finished for over two hours now. When are you going to come out? It's already 10... we have food," Brendon says.

I shakily stand up and stagger to the door. I unlock it, and Brendon's face immediately turns to shock.

"What happened to you," he says walking in.

"What," you manage to croak out.

"You're nose is bleeding. Is everything okay," he says as tilts my head back.

"I don't know the last thing I remember was picking up dirty clothes right when you guys started practicing.. The next thing I know I'm laying on the floor, and you're knocking on the door," I slur.

Brendon presses a towel to my nose and says, "Something's wrong. We need to get you to the hospital."

"No, I'm fine," I whine.

He picks me up bridal style and walks downstairs.

"Wht are you two doing," Jon asks.

"Something's wrong with her. The last thing she remembers is walking up to her room when we started to practice. I woke her up by knocking on the door. He nose is bleeding, she's staggering, and she's slurring her words together. I'm taking her to the hospital, but I need one of you to show me where it is," Brendon quickly says grabbing a jacket and putting it over me.

Their words went in one ear and out the other. My head is pounding that I can't concentrate on anything for too long. There has to be some way for it to stop hurting. I run my fingers through my hair and start to pull.

"What are you doing," Brendon yells swatting my hand away from my hair.

"Hurts," I manage to say with tears that begin to stream down my face.

"Guys we need to go. Now," he says looking at them and starts walking toward the door, "Shh. Shhhh, it's going to okay Erica."

I hear car doors slam. Brendon wraps his hands around mine, and rubs his thumbs over my hand. I lay my head on his stomach and try to make the pain stop. Seconds later, my eyes close. When I wake up, I'm laying in a hospital bed with a IV in my hand. My head isn't pounding anymore. I actually feel lightheaded. Everything looks like their moving. I look beside me to see the guys sitting there.

"Hey," Brendon says getting up and standing closer to me.

Brendon's face looks huge, and his body's small. He looks like a bobble head. I start laughing, and he smiles.

"What," he asks.

"You look funny," I laugh.

"That's because they gave you something to lessen the pressure," Brendon says.

"Good, you're awake," the doctor walks in and says.

I look at the doctor whose head is so tiny. I let out a small laugh.

"Well, I can see the medicine has already taken effect," the doctor says.

His voice sounds extremely high pitched. That makes me laugh again.

"I can tell you want understand any of this, so Mr. Urie and your friends can tell you when it wears off," he turns to the guys, "she can go home. She just has a small concussion, but keep a eye on her."

"Okay," the guys say.

The doctor with the tiny head takes the IV out of my hand, and Brendon picks me up. He carries me out to the car. We get in it. I laugh, and he looks down at me.

"So let me get this straight... the medicine made her high," Dallon asks.

"Yep," Brendon says.

"High as a kite," I laugh.

They all start laughing.

"We need to get her home," Ryan says in between laughing.

"I don't wanna go home," I mumble.

"Where do you want to go," Brendon asks.

"A fun place," I mumble curling up against Brendon.

"Okay. Just try to get some sleep," Brendon mumbles.

I close my eyes and fall asleep. When I wake up, Brendon's laying me down on my bed. He covers me up with the blankets, and starts walking away.

"Don't leave," I mumble wrapping my arms around him.

He smirks and whispers, "I thought you said it would take some time to get back to where we were."

"It will, but stay with me," I mumble.

He smirks and lays beside me. He pulls me closer to him, and I lay my head on his chest. I eventually fall asleep. When I wake up, Brendon's gone. I check my phone, and it's 2 in the afternoon. I remember everything from last night. What in the hell was I thinking when I said high as a kite? I walk out of my room to the recording studio because that's probably where they are. When I get in there, everyone's there except Brendon.

"Hey," they say.

"Hi," I mumble.

"Is Brendon up there with you," Dallon asks.

I give him a confused look and say, "No. I thought you guys knew where he was."

The guys look at each other with confused looks.

"We haven't seen him. We thought that he was up there sleeping with you," Jon says.

"Where is he," I ask sitting down on a bean bag chair.

"We have no idea," Spencer says.

"Where he could've gone," I ask.

That's when Brendon walks in the room.

"Hey," he says out of breath.

"Where have you been," I ask looking at him.

"I just ran out to go get some lunch," he says.

"Where is it," Ryan asks.

"On the kitchen table," Brendon says.

"I'll be back," Ryan says walking out of the room.

The rest of the guys follow him. I sit there messing with the bean bag chair.

Brendon sits beside me and asks, "Hey, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," I say.

"Well, let's go getting something to eat," he says.

"I'm not hungry," I say.

"You have to eat," he says.

"I will later," I say glancing at him.

"Fine," he says kissing me on the lips.

I kiss him. Minutes later, the guys come walking back in.

"Okay, we're ready to practice," Spencer says.

"You ate that quick," I ask laughing a little.

"Yes, Miss High as a Kite girl," Dallon laughs.

"Oh shut up," I say blushing.

They laugh and start picking up instruments.

"How are Ryan and Jon going to practice," I ask.

"We're more people that can help Brendon practice," Ryan says.

I lean back on the bean bag and watch them practice. They start off with Nine in the Afternoon. Brendon has got that song down. Next they sing This is Gospel. Brendon messes up on, "These words are knives that often leave scars." Instead of singing that he sings, "These knives are words that often leave marks." The rest of the guys correct him. They go down a list of songs. Nine in the Afternoon, This is Gospel, Time to Dance, Northern Downpour, Vegas Lights, Girls/Girls/Boys, But It's Better if You Do, London Beckoned, We're so Starving, Miss Jackson, The Ballad of Mona Lisa, I Write Sins Not Tragedies, and Don't Stop Believein'. I quietly sing along as they sing. It takes them about four hours to finish.

Ryan asks, "Club?"

I say, "I'm going to go to one of those teen clubs that they have around here."

"You could just go to the club with us," Brendon says.

"But I'm not of age to go," I say.

"So.... you're point is," Brendon asks.

"I don't want you guys to get in trouble just because of me," I say.

"We could go somewhere else," Ryan says.

"No. You guys go. I need to try and be social with people my age," I say laughing.

"Hey. What do you mean," Kenneth asks.

"I mean you guys are old," I say laughing.

Kenneth makes a pouty face, and I say, "I'm just kidding, Kenny. Now, I'm going to get ready."

I walk upstairs. I take a quick shower, hop out, do my makeup, do my hair, and put on my clothes.

"Hey are you ready," Ryan says knocking on the door.

"Yep," I say quickly fixing my eyeliner.

I turn around and grab my jacket. I walk downstairs to see the guys standing around the door.

Brendon wraps his arm around me, and we walk to the cars.

When we get in the back seat with Ryan and Dallon in the front, Brendon asks, "There's not a teen club around here where teens.... who are related to or famous can go to."

"I don't care. I still want to go to one," I say.

"Patrick's going to kill us," Dallon says looking i the rear view mirror.

"I've been to a teen club once before, but I ended up leaving a hour after I got there," I say.

"Okay. There's one that's beside the one we're going to," Brendon says running his hands through his hair.

After about forty minutes later, we arrive at the club. They park the car, and start walking toward the clubs. Brendon wraps his arm around my waist.

"So this time you guys aren't wearing wigs and stuff," I ask.

"Nah, it's just going to be drunk people and dark in there. No one will notice us," Dallon says.

"Okay," I say as we reach the clubs.

"Meet back at the car in three hours," Brendon says.

"Okay," I say as he kisses me on my forehead.

They walk toward the adult club and show the security guard their IDs. As soon as they go in, I start walking down the sidewalk away from the teen club. The wind starts blowing, and I put on my jacket. I walk down the sidewalk with a specific place in mind. After about eight minutes, I'm standing in front of the place. I look up at the sign that says 'LA Library.' I smile. This is more of my place. I walk inside and see people sitting down at tables reading. People are sitting down at computers typing. I walk down the aisle. I reach the fantasy section. I search the bookshelves until I find Allegiance by Veronica Ross. I grab the book and walk back to a table. I lay the book and phone on the table and sit down. I open the book and start reading. A loose strand of hair gets in my way, so I tuck it behind my ear. When I read halfway through the book, I look at my phone. It's past three hours.

"Oh shit," I mumble.

I quickly grab the book and phone. I check it out and quickly walk down the sidewalk. About five minutes later, I reach the club. The guys are all standing outside it except for Brendon.

"Sorry, I'm late. Where's Brendon," I ask.

"Where have you been," Dallon slurs.

"I thought Brendon was with you," Ryan slurs.

"I was at the library hence the book in my hand, and I haven't seen Brendon since you guys went in the club," I say showing them the book.


	16. Liars and the Cheats

"The last time I saw him was when we were dancing," Spencer says.

"You guys dance? Since when? Do you think he's cheating on me," I ask.

"We can dance amazingly awesome," Dallon slurs.

"He couldn't possibly do that to you ever again. You're amazing, and you two are perfect together," Spencer says putting his arm around me.

"Thanks, Spence. Where do you think he is," I ask hugging him back.

"Probably still dancing and drinking. Last time I saw him, he was standing on top of a table dancing and unbuttoning and buttoning his shirt," Spencer says laughing a little bit.

"Are you serious," I ask imagining him standing on top of a table, sweating, and drunk.

"I'm dead serious. Ever since he lost his memory and gained it back a little he doesn't know how to handle alcohol," Spencer says.

"I want another drink," Ryan slurs stomping his feet.

"Me too," Jon slurs.

"Me three," Dallon slurs.

"Me four," Kenneth says laughing.

"Oh my God, how many drinks did they drink," I ask looking at Spencer.

"Five or six. It was this new drink the club has. They loved it. I drunk a tiny bit of bourbon then I was done," Spencer says.

"We need to get them back to the cars. Do you think you can go find Brendon," I ask Spencer.

"That's actually a good idea. We wouldn't want the press getting their hands on pictures of the guys drunk. You think you can handle getting them to the car by yourself," he asks.

"Yeah," I say.

I gather Kenneth, Jon, Ryan, and Dallon up and say, "Alright we're going to cross the road. Try not to get hit."

"The road's scary," Dallon complains.

"I'm not going," Jon says.

"I'm going back to the club," Ryan slurs.

"No, no, no. What will it take you guys to walk across the street," I say putting my hands on my hips.

"Candy," Kenneth slurs.

"Going swimming," Dallon slurs.

"More beer," Ryan slurs.

"Ice cream," Jon slurs smiling.

"Oh my God, you guys are acting like big babies. What the Hell was in that drink? Okay, we'll get all of those things as soon as we cross the street," I say.

"Yay," Ryan says as the others clap or jump up and down.

"Now everyone hold hands and get in a line," I say giving Ryan and Dallon my hands.

Kenneth grabs Ryan's hand, and Jon grabs Dallon's hand.

"Are we good to go," I ask looking at them.

They nod their heads. Dallon gives me the funniest looking terrified facial expressions. I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.

"One, two, three... Go," I say, and they take off running.

"The cars are going to kill us! Go, Go, Go," Dallon yells slurring his words together.

When we reach the other side of the road, they calm down. I look over at Dallon and laugh. He looks terified.

"Okay the car's right over there," I say leading them over to the cars.

"I hate clothes," I hear Brendon slur.

"You need them in public, dude. Now stop taking your shirt off," Spencer says pulling Brendon's shirt back down.

Brendon's sweating, and he's completely and utterly wasted. He can barely stand up straight. Spencer puts him in the car, and I put Ryan in the car.

"How did it go with getting them to the cars," Spencer asks.

"Let's just say that I'm never ever having kids. They acted like grown babies! Where did you find Brendon," I say.

"Getting thrown out of the club by the bouncer," Spencer sighs.

"Oh my God. Are you going to drive Jon, Kenneth, and Dallon, and I drive Brendon and Ryan," I ask.

"Yeah," he says hopping in the car.

I get in the driver's seat. I start the car and look back at Ryan and Brendon.

"I hate clothes! Especially pants," he slurs messing with his pants.

"Don't you even think about it, Brendon," I say looking in the rearview mirror.

He laughs and slurs, "You're funny when you're mad."

"I'n not mad. I just don't want you to strip in the car," I say getting flustered.

"When do you want me to strip then," Brendon slurs raising his eyebrows.

"Even when you're drunk," I mumble.

I turn my focus to the road and follow Spencer. About a minute later, I look in the mirror to see Brendon shirtless. Ryan's looking at his bare chest. Ever so slowly Ryan rybs Brendon's chest.

"What the f-," I mumble glancing at the road then back at them.

Brendon grabs Ryan's hand, and Ryan slurs, "I love you Bren.... I love you sooo much."

Brendon smirks and slurs, "I love you to Ryro."

They lean in and kiss each other. About 95% of me is saying 'What the Fuck,' and the other 5% that used to ship Ryden is fangirling inside. I glance back at them, and Ryan's shirt's off.

"No, no, no! Not in this car and not while I'm driving," I exclaim quickly grabbing my book an throwing it at them.

"Ouch," Ryan says in a high pitched voice.

Brendon giggles and bites his bottom lip.

"What's so funny," I say trying not to laugh.

"We could have a threesome," Brendon laughs.

"I've never. Just keep that idea to yourself. We're almost home," I say looking at the road.

We finally arrive at Brendon's house. I turn around and look at them. Ryan's shirt is unbuttoned, and Brendon's biting his lower lip. I don't even bothering them. Spencer has to see this.

I quietly get out of the car and whisper, "Spencer you have to look at this."

He walks over toward me and sticks his head in the car. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and takes pictures. Then he gets out of the car.

"We need to get everyone inside," he says opening the backdoor.

"Okay get out guys," I say.

They stagger out and join Dallon, Jon, and Kenneth.

After a hour of trying to get them to their rooms, Spencer, Brendon, and I am sitting in the living room. Brendon's stripped down to his boxers. He has his head in my lap completely knocked out.

"What happened when you we're trying to get them to the car," Spencer asks.

"Like running a daycare from grown men babies. Dallon was freaking out about crossing the road. I had to bribe them with candy and beer. We had to hold hands to run across the road, and Dallon was screaming 'The cars are going to kill us!' I bet people thought we were a bunch of crazies," I say rubbing Brendon's hair.

Spencer starts laughing his head off.

He finally says, "I wish I would've seen that."

"Yeah right," I say laughing.

"Do you want something to eat," he asks getting up.

"Popcorn," I say smiling.

"Okay. Be back in a second," he says.

I look down at Brendon. He's sticky from sweating. He passed out before he could take a shower. He looks like a little kid when he sleeps. I try to move, but I end up hitting his head with my elbow and knocking his arm off the couch. I grab it and lay it on his stomach. Spencer walks back in the room with an arm full of popcorn, chips, and drinks.

"Here ya go," he says, and I grab the bowl of popcorn and a drink.

"Thank ya," I say smiling.

He sits down and turns on the tv. He flips through the channels. You see Dean pop up, but he turns it.

"No, go back to Supernatural," I loudly say.

"Okay, okay calm down," he laughs.

He turns it back three channels to the CW. It's the first episode of season 9. We watch it and eat our junk food. I eventually fall asleep during the middle of the season.

When I wake up, Brendon's laying on his side and has his arms wrapped around me. My shirt's pushed up exposing some of my stomach. He's mouth and nose are pressed against my stomach, and he's still sleeping. Brendon's softly snoring. I smile and run my fingers through his hair. He stirs slightly and moans. I look over to see Spencer laid out on the couch hugging a pillow. He's still asleep. I lay my head back on the couch and close my eyes to go back to sleep. Seconds later, I hear Brendon moan. I glance down at him, and he moans again. I can't tell what he's moaning, but it's the same kind of moan he did when we were sleeping with each other. He keeps moaning, and I smile. I wonder what he's dreaming? I lay my head back on the pillow. He continues to moan which makes my knees go weak, and heart speed up. When I'm on the brink of sleep, I feel him press his lips against my stomach. I quickly wake up and see him kissing my stomach. I raise my eyebrow, and his tongue presses against my stomach.

"What are you dreaming about," I whisper looking down at him.

He wakes up and sleepily looks at me.

"Ughhh, my head's killing me," he mumbles.

"Yeah, you'll probably have a massive hang over," I say smiling.

He groans.

"What were you dreaming about," I ask smiling.

"I don't remember," he says rolling over to lay on his back.

"Liar," I say laughing.

"I really don't remember," he says blushing.

"Fine. I'll let that one slip. Do you remember anything happening between you and Ryan last night," I ask grabbing my phone.

"Last night is a complete haze," he says.

I pull up the picture of him and Ryan kissing and show it to him.

"What the f-," he mumbles.

"My exact words last night. I has to throw a library book at you two to get you to stop. What would happen if I were to post this on instagram," I say smiling.

"You wouldn't," he says quickly waking up.

"I would," I say smiling.

He sits up, and I quickly run. I look back at him, and he's chasing me. I laugh and run behind the couch. Brendon's standing on the other side of the couch with a pillow.

"What are you going to do? Stop me with a pillow," I ask pulling up Instagram.

"Yes," he smirks and throws the pillow which hits Spencer causing him to jump up.

"What the hell," he mumbles.

"Tell her not to post the picture of me and Ryan kissing," Brendon whines.

"Sorry, that's out of my hands," he says smiling.

"Ha," I say cocking my head to the side.

Brendon runs around the couch, and I start running upstairs. I throw pillows at him which slows him down. I open Ryan's bedroom door and hide under the bed. I see Brendon's feet stop in front of the door and walk in. He looks around the room and behind the doors. With no luck, he walks out. I wait a couple of minutes and finally come out of hiding. Before I can do anything, Brendon's running at me. I quickly dodge to the side, and he falls on top of Ryan. I laugh and take a picture. Ryan groggily gets up.

"What the Hell dude," Ryan asks.

His hair's sticking up in all different directions.

"She has a picture of us kissing last night, and she's going to post it on instagram," Brendon says.

Ryan jumps out of bed and falls down. I start laughing and run out of the room.

I hear Ryan yell, "She can't do that!"

I smirk and quickly run downstairs to Spencer.

"Here hide this," I quickly whisper handing him the phone.

He shoves it in his pocket, and I sit down on the couch. Brendon and Ryan come running down the stairs. When they see me, they run and jump on the couch.

"Where's the phone, Stump," Ryan asks.

"I don't have it," I say flipping through a magazine.

"It couldn't have disappeared," Brendon says.

"I must've dropped it," I say.

Ryan takes the magazine and asks, "Spencer where's the phone?"

"I don't know, Ry. I just woke up," Spencer says.

"It has to be on the couch then," Brendon says.

Seconds later, I'm standing up as they search the couch. They don't find anything. They turn around to face me.

"It has to be on you," Ryan says.

"I promise you it's not," I say slightly smiling.

"Brendon, search her," Ryan says.

"Over a phone? Guys you're over reacting," I say.

"What do you mean search her," Brendon asks.

"I mean pat her down like cops do," Ryan says.

"In front of everyone," Brendon asks.

"There's only me and Spence," Ryan says slightly smiling.

Brendon's face turns red, and I say, "I dare you to. I bet you don't have the balls to do it."

That's my lame attempt at flirting.

Brendon smirks and says, "Hands against the wall, and legs spread apart."

I smile and say, "Yes sir."

I walk over to the wall. I put my hands on the wall a shoulder length apart. I place my feet a little bit more than shoulder length apart. I smirk as I face the wall. Brendon walks up to me. He starts by patting my legs all the way up to my waist. I bite my lip as his hands skim across my butt. He place his hands in the back pockets of my shorts. He works his way up to my boobs. He pauses then his hands skim across them.

"Okay, you're clean," Brendon chokes out.

I turn around and face him. His face is red, and his eyes have pure lust in them.

"I told you," I say smiling.

"Where's the phone," Ryan whines.

"I tell you what... I cross my heart and hope to die that I want post it on instagram," I say smiling as I quote a phrase from Nicotine.

"Fine," they both say.

Spencer walks back in and asks, "Are we going to practice today? I mean it's already 4 in the afternoon, and the show's in three days."

"Everyone's going to have a massive hangover except for us," I tell Spencer.

"Two days is enough," Spencer asks Brendon.

"Yeah, I mean I only have trouble with This is Gospel and Build God," Brendon says.

The rest of the day was filled with hangovers, laying around, and explaining the previous night to a hungover Dallon, Brendon, Ryan, Jon, and Kenneth. Night finally came, and we decided to go to sleep early.

The days leading up to the concert were filled with nonstop practicing. On the night before the concert, I came up with a idea while we were in the recording studio.

"Guys, why don't you all get up onstage and perform," I say looking up from the ice cream.

They all stop and look at me.

"What do you mean," Dallon asks.

"I mean have special performances by Ryan and Jon. You can can have two people playing bass and guitar. That would make the sound even better, and the fans would love it," I say taking another bite of ice cream.

"That's actually an amazing idea," Kenneth says.

"You're welcome," I smirk.

"We better start practicing," Brendon says looking at the guys.

They continue practicing all through the night into the early morning hours. I eventually fall asleep sitting on a bean bag. I wake up to the sound of the alarm clock going off. I wake up in Brendon's bed. He's laying beside me rolling over and turning the alarm clock off.

"What time is it," I mumble.

"It's seven thirty," Brendon mumbles rubbing his eyes.

"Oh God, it's too early," I groan pulling the cover over me.

"We have to set up the venue and practice," Brendon says pulling the cover off of me.

"Give me the cover," I mumble pulling it.

"No, get up," Brendon chuckles.

"No," I say.

"Do you want me to go get the guys," Brendon says kissing me on the lips.

"Okay," I mumble smiling.

"Okay," he says walking out of the room.

I roll over and tuck the covers under my chin. I close my eyes and fall back asleep. I wake up in the pool with all my clothes still on me.

I come up and yell, "What the hell?!"

I see the guys all standing to the side of the pool laughing their heads off. Brendon's recording it with his phone.

"Are you awake now," Brendon asks laughing.

"Yes crazy," I yell swimming toward the ladder.

I climb out of the pool and walk toward the guys.

"What was that for," I ask looking at them.

"You didn't want to wake up," Brendon says smiling.

"You're a idiot," I say laughing.

"Whatever you say, Erica," Brendon laughs.

"I'm going to take a shower," I say smiling.

I walk upstairs and get in the shower. After I get done, I curl my hair, put on makeup, and put on skinny jeans and Brendon's Panic! at the Disco tanktop.

"Are you ready," Brendon asks walking into the room.

"Yeah," I say quickly putting on my purple converse shoes.

He wraps his hand around mine, and we walk downstairs. Zack's standing outside with the guys. They have the tour bus back. We all hop onto the tour bus. I put on headphones and listen to My Chemical Romance. Brendon pulls me into his lap. I sit in his lap and start to doze off.

He wakes me up and says, "Hey, we're almost there."

I nod and look out the window. The lines already backed up onto the sidewalk. Tents are put up.

"I can't believe they actually camped out," Brendon says.

"You should have seen the other shows. Everyone of them would have hundreds of tents," I say.

"Oh shit," Brendon mumbles.

When the fans see the tour bus, they start screaming their heads off. The guys roll down the windows and wave at them. We go through security gates and park the tour bus. We unload it, and go into the dressing room.

"As soon as the crew gets the equipment set up, we can practice," Brendon says.

"What about the pranks," Dallon asks smiling.

"I'm not going to be apart of this. You guys already thrown me in the pool," I say backing up.

They glance at each other and say, "Fine."

I sit down on the couch, and the guys sit down beside me. I take the headphones out of my IPod and play Welcome to the Black Parade.

"When I was a young boy," Dallon sings along.

"How about we play a little bit of truth or dare," Ryan asks.

We all agree, and Ryan goes first.

"Truth or dare," Ryan asks me.

"Dare," I say regretting it.

He smiles and says, "I dare you to put on a wig and sunglasses and go outside with Zack. You have to hand out these tickets, and hand them out."

"That sounds easy enough. What for," I say.

"There's 300 tickets, and 30 of them have a golden ticket. Fans with the golden ticket will get to meet us and take pictures," Ryan says.

"That's not even a real dare. Where's the wig and sunglasses," I say smiling.

Dallon hands Ryan a bag. Ryan pulls out a hot pink wig and neon yellow sunglasses.

"You have to be kidding me," I say.

"Nope," Ryan says smiling.

I take the wig and sunglasses, and Brendon helps me put the wig on.

Zack walks in with two baskets. He hands me one, and we walk outside.

"You'll need to show the security guard at the front door you're badge, and he'll let you in," Zack says.

"Okay," I say smiling.

I go down the line and hand the tickets out. No one even suspects it's me. When some fans find that they have the golden ticket, they start yelling and jumping up and down. After I give out my half of the 300 tickets, I meet Zack at the doors.

"When do they get to meet them," I ask.

"We need to form a different line at the side doors," Zack says getting a bull horn.

"Alright listen up, if you have a golden ticket please follow Erica," Zack says. 

I take the wig and sunglasses off and hand them to Zack. He follows me over to the side door. The 30 fans follow me to the side door.

"Alright guys, get in a straight line, and you'll each go in a take pictures with them," I say.

They quickly get in a line, and I laugh a little.

"I'll go tell them we're ready," I tell Zack.

I walk inside and find the guys drinking beer in the dressing room.

"They're waiting for you guys," Brendon puts his arm around me, and I lead them to the backdrop.

I walk outside, and the first girl goes in. They ask me questions about how Brendon, me, and the guys are doing. After about 2 hours, Zack and I finally go back inside. The guys are onstage practicing.

"Prank time," Zack aks looking at me.

"I'm in," I say smiling.

"We have to go on the pathway above the stage," he says and I follow.

The guys are in the middle of Miss Jackson. Zack hands me a dozen eggs.

"Oh this is going to be fun," I say laughing.

I throw an egg at Brendon, and it hits him on the shoulder. He looks up, and we quickly duck. We quickly start throwing eggs at them. Spencer tries to hit the eggs with his drumsticks, but he misses. Dallon, Jon, Ryan, and Kenneth use their instruments as bats.

"Sweet, sweet payback," I laugh looking down at them.

The hours pass by until it's one hour until the concert. I sit in Brendon's lap as he plays the piano. He stops, and Dallon plays the hamster song. Dallon starts to dance, and I laugh. The rest of the guys start dancing around and clapping. Brendon loops his arm around mine, and we start dancing around.

"Okay guys, it's time to get your butts on stage," Zack says.

"We love you too," Ryan says hugging him. We start walking toward the stage. Brendon, Dallon, Kenneth, and Spencer walk onstage, and the crowd goes wild.

Dallon asks, "Do you think we should tell them the surprise?"

"I think we should," Brendon says smiling.

He looks over at us, and Ryan and Jon walk out on stage. The crowd goes insane.

I laugh as Brendon says, "We thought we would give you a big treat."

"Hi guys," Ryan says waving.

The crowd starts waving and screaming louder.

"Hey," Jon laughs.

They start the concert off with Time to Dance. During the songs, I stand to the side of the stage with Zack. Brendon takes his shirt off halfway through the concert. I smile as he throws his shirt at Zack. I watch the guys jump around stage like bunnies. Finally, the concert's over.

Brendon says, "You were incredible! Goodnight!"

The guys bow and then walk in my direction.

Brendon gives me a sweaty hug and says, "That was incredible!"

I laugh. The guys sit down on the couch, and I sit down on a chair by the bar.

"I'm going to go get my purse from the tour bus," I say.

"Tell Zack to go with you," Brendon says.

"I'll be fine," I say walking out of the room.

I walk outside, and the crew's packing up the stuff. Fans are on the other side of the gate waiting. I walk on the bus and grab my purse. My IPod's not in it. I look everywhere for my IPod, and I finally find it in between the cushions of the couch. I quickly stuff it in my purse. I walk outside, and I show the security guard my badge. He lets me in, and I walk back in the dressing room. Everyone's there except Brendon.

"Where's Brendon," I ask looking at Spencer.

"He said he was going out to help you," Spencer says.

"He was never out there," I say giving them a confused look.

"Then where could he have gone," Ryan asks.

"Maybe he got lost. I'll go see if I can find him," I say walking out of the room.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning.

I walk out of the room and decide to head down toward the stage. Maybe he forgot something. I pass some of the crew members. My phone starts buzzing, and it's Patrick.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey, whatcha doing," Patrick asks out of breath.

"Trying to find Brendon, and why are you so out of breath," I say.

"Just got done performing like ten minutes ago, and you know I have to sing and yeah," he says.

"Tell Erica I said hi," I hear Andy yell in the background.

"Tell him I said hi too," I say walking around the corner that leads to the stage.

"How did the first show go," Patrick asks.

"Surprisingly well. Brendon learned the songs quick. He-," I stop talking.

I see Brendon pressing a familiar woman against the wall. They look like they're about to devour each other's faces. She's rubbing her hand up and down his chest, and he has his hand on her butt. I quickly back up and hide on the other side of the corner. Patrick's still on the phone. I feel a mixture of rage and sadness.

"What about Erica," Ashley whispers.

"I like her, but she isn't really my type. Now, I love you. You're exactly my type," he whispers.

I can't take it anymore. I walk around the corner with tears streaming down my face.

"How could you? You beg me to forgive you for the first time, and I did. Now you come running back to this slut who probably loves you just because you're in the band. You could've just told me how you really felt instead of playing with my emotions. Well how about this... I'll pack my stuff and leave you two the fuck alone," I saw turning around and running down the hallway.

I hear Patrick and the guys ask, "What the Hell? Are you okay? What happened?"

I hang the phone up and run into the dressing room.

The guys look at me.

"What happened," Spencer asks.

"I hate that asshole! I caught him and Ashley practically devouring each other! I'm leaving on the next flight out of here," I yell grabbing my stuff.

"Sometimes he can be a complete douche bag," Ryan says shaking his head.

"Do you want me to take you back to the house to get your things," Dallon asks hugging me.

"Yeah," I mumble.

Dallon calls a taxi, and we hop in it.

"He said he loved her... that she was more his type," I mumble looking out the window.

"What are you going to do," Dallon asks.

"School starts in about a week, so I'll go home and start school... move on with my life," I say wiping the tears from my face.

"I'm not going to try and stop you because what he did was wrong on so many levels. We'll miss you," Dallon says.

I smile and say, "I'll miss you guys too."

He hugs me. Dallon helped me book my flight for three in the morning. He helped me get all of my stuff up. At two, we walked out of the door. Before we could get into the car, the rest of the guys show up.

"So you're really leaving," Kenneth asks.

"Yep," I say trying to contain the tears that threaten to pour down my face.

Everyone comes and hugs me... everyone except for Brendon.

"Good luck with senior year. I know I hated it, but after this year you get to say goodbye to high school," Dallon says.

"Thanks," I mumble glancing at Brendon who's looking at me.

He tries to say something, but I flip him off. I quickly get in the car. The trip to the airport and the flight home's filled with flash backs of all the happy times Brendon and I had together. How could he do this to me? Then I remind myself that he's not the same Brendon I used to know. From the moment he woke up from that coma, he was a different person. My mom and dad's on vacation and won't be back until this weekend, so I have to get another taxi. When I finally arrive at home, I can't contain anything anymore. I have a complete and total break down. I drop my bags in the floor and run upstairs to my room. It becomes increasingly harder to breath. I frantically look around my room for something to relieve the pain. I see a pair of scissors laying on top on fabric. I grab them and press it against my wrist. Drops of blood start to form. I find it easier to breathe. I focus on the blade cutting my skin. When there's about eight cuts on each wrists, I crawl into my bed and go to sleep. Days pass, and I lay in bed. I only get up to go take a shower and use the bathroom. I don't eat, I don't talk to anyone... I just lay around. I continue to cut myself when I find myself thinking too much. On Sunday, my mom and dad come back home. They walk into my room, and I quickly hide my arms and scissors.

"Hi Sweet pea," my dad says walking over and hugging me.

"Hi Honey," my mom says hugging me after my dad.

"Hi mom and dad," I say fake smiling.

"We have some great news," my dad says smiling.

"What," I ask trying to be excited.

My mom hands me a letter that's from Harvard. I pull my sleeves down and take it. I open it and quickly read it.

"Good news," my dad asks.

"I got excepted on a full scholarship," I say looking up at them.

"Oh my goodness, Honey, that's amazing," my mom says smiling ear to ear.

"That's incredible," my dad says smiling. 

"Well, tonight we're going out to eat... your pick,"my mom says.

"Okay," I say, and they walk out of the room.

I stop smiling and look back down at the letter. I'm not even sure if I want to go to Harvard anymore. I don't even want to leave the house, but if I don't go then they'll know something's up.

"Honey, it's Patrick," my mom calls from downstairs.

I shakily get out of bed and walk downstairs.

I take the phone and say, "Hi."

"You haven't called me in almost a week. I had to find out what happened to you from Dallon," Patrick says.

"And you're point is," I ask wanting to finish the conversation.

"You don't sound like yourself. Are you okay," Patrick asks.

"I'm fine," I say rolling my eyes.

"Aren't you going to tell him about the letter," my mom asks sticking her head around the corner.

"What letter," Patrick asks.

"I got a letter from Harvard saying that I got a full scholarship to their school," I say.

"Oh my God, that's wonderful," Patrick says.

"Yep," I say.

"Listen, we have a show coming up in Chicago. Do you want to bring a friend and come," Patrick asks.

"When is it," I ask.

"This coming up Friday at 8, but we're probably going to get there at 3," Patrick says.

"Fine," I say.

"Okay. Well, I have to go. I'll talk to you later," he says.

"Okay, bye," I say turning the phone off.

I walk back upstairs and lay in bed. I stare up at the ceiling until I finally fall asleep. I wake up to my mom knocking on my door.

"Come in," I say sitting up.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready," she asks walking in.

"I don't feel good. Can we not go tonight," I ask.

"Sure. Do you think you'll be well enough to go to school tomorrow," she asks.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I say looking at the bed.

Later on that night, my mom talks me into eating. After eating I go to sleep. When I wake up, I do the normal routine. My mom won't let me leave the house until I eat something, so I quickly eat an apple. After I eat it, I walk out of the house. I get in my car and start driving towards school. That's when my phone starts buzzing. I glance down at it, and it's Dallon.

"Hi," I say.

"Hey, how are you doing," he asks.

"Fine, I'm on my way to school," I say.

"Look, I hate calling you about bad news, but we're all over the cover of TMZ," he says.

"What," I say slightly yelling.

"They must have took pictures at the concert when me and you got into the taxi. The stories completely messed up," he says.

"How," I ask quietly.

"They said things, and they think that there's smoething going on between me and you," he says.

"How am I going to go to school and face everyone," I shakily ask.

"Don't worry about. Your school won't let them come in there. Just go to school and do your thing," he says.

"Okay," I say.

"Talk to you later," he says.

"Yeah, talk to you later," I say hanging up.

Maybe people at school won't have heard the news. I arrive at school. No cameras. I get out of the car and grab my bags. I start walking toward the front door when I hear rustling in the bushes. I turn around and see people hiding in the bushes with cameras. I quickly turn around and speed walk inside. When I walk past the front office, I notice a flyer on the wall. It says that there's an assembly in the gym starting in about ten minutes. I walk to my locker and quickly put my things away.

I text Dallon, "There's people hiding in the bushes taking pictures."

I slide my phone into my pocket and walk into the gym. When I walk in, everyone looks at me. I look down at the ground, and Jess comes up beside me.

"Hey, I'm sitting over here with Johnny," she says.

"Hey," I say as she leads me to the front row in the far corner.

"Hey, Erica," Johnny says.

"Hi," I say.

"Do you want to talk about it," Jess whispers in my ear.

"No," I say.

"Okay," she says.

"I guess he was tired of a little girl," Quinn says.

I turn around and look at her, "I think you need to get your information correct before you start saying things like that."

"Oh so Miss Brainy has a mouth on her," she says smiling.

"Always have," I say.

"I know if I were with him I would have him eating out of my hands or somewhere else. I bet you didn't even have the guts to do it," she says.

"Excuse you, but no one has to be a self coincided slut like you, and he wouldn't even want you," I say turning around.

"Wow you're really bad ass now," Jess says smiling.

"No, I'm just really fed up with talking about what happened," I say slightly smiling.

The principal start rambling on and on about how this school year's going to the best one yet. He goes over the rules. After about three hours of talking, we can finally go to class.

"At least we have 5 out of the 7 classes together," Jess says.

"Yeah, I'll be in class in a second. I have to use the bathroom," I say.

"Okay," she says walking down the hall.

I walk into the bathroom, and right behind me comes Quinn, Chelsea, and Brittney. They lock the bathroom's main door. I roll my eyes and try to get out, but they push me back.

"You're not going anywhere," Quinn says.

"Oh is this about the talk we had in the gym," I ask.

"I never got to tell you what I would have Brendon do to me," Quinn says smiling.

"And Dallon, Patrick, Spencer, and the rest of the guys," Chelsea says.

"You can't keep me in here," I say.

Quinn punches me in my face, and I go falling into the floor. I hit my head on the sink as I fall. My head starts pounding like crazy. I try to stand up, but I can't.

"Now, let me finish my story. If we were ever together, personally I prefer Patrick or Brendon, I would let him do anything he wants to do. He could tie me u-," she says getting interrupted.

"Erica, you in there? Why's the door locked," Jess asks knocking on the door.

"Jess, help," I yell.

Seconds later, I hear keys being turned and the door opens.

"What the fuck," she says looking at me.

Quinn, Chelsea, and Brittney runs out of the bathroom.

"I'm going to go get the nurse," Jess says.

"Don't... I don't want the media to get their hands on anything else," I say.

"Oh my God," Jess says locking the bathroom door.

"I'm calling Brendon then and giving him a piece of my mind," she says.

She helps me sit up and makes sure I'm not bleeding. Then, she dials Brendon's number. She puts the phone on speaker. It rings and rings and he finally answers.


	18. Brendon's P.O.V.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This shows what's been happening since the break up to what's currently happening.

I stood there and watched her leave. My heart hurt a little, but not like it was breaking into a million pieces. I know now that I should have never lead her on, but I didn't want to hrt her. I decide to go out after the guys went to sleep. I quickly change clothes and met Ashley outside.

"Hey baby," she said smiling.

"Hey babe," I say kissing her on the lips.

"What do you want to go do," she asks holding my hand.

"I don't know. Anything good to do at 4 in the morning," I ask softly laughing.

"Clubs," she says.

As the moons goes down and the sun comes up, we dance and drink. I eventually get drunk, and we decide to call it a night. She won't let me drive no matter how much I beg. When we arrive at my house, she turns the car off.

"God, you look so beautiful," I slur as a slide my thumb over her cheek bone.

"Aw thanks, and you're quiet handsome yourself," she says blushing.

I can't take it anymore. I take my seat belt off and kiss her. She presses her hands against the window as I slowly kiss her neck. We take each other's clothes off until there isn't anything to take off. It's heated and passionate. I've never heard a sweeter sound coming out of her mouth than when she's whimpering my name from her mouth. When it's over. we lay in the backseat. She's laying on top of me asleep. I look at her and see Erica flash through my mind... almost like memories of Erica smiling and laughing. I shake my head, and Erica's face quickly disappears from my mind. Minutes later, I fall asleep.

I wake up to Spencer banging on the window. Ashley and I both jump up. She quickly covers herself with her clothes. I put on my boxers and open the door.

"I can't believe you, dude. You just broke Erica's heart, and now you're sleeping around with some girl hours after Erica leaves! The old you would have never ever done this," Spencer says stomping back into the house.

Ashley puts her clothes on, and I kiss her on the lips.

"Don't worry about what everyone's saying. I love you," I say.

"Okay, I love you too," she says smiling slightly.

I get out of the car, and she leaves. I run my fingers through my hair and walk inside. The guys are all sitting around whispering and making big hand gestures.

"If you have something to say, just say it to my face," I say putting my hands in my pockets.

"Fine. You're acting like a complete douche bag," Dallon says.

"If you can't realize that, then don't even talk to me... except for when we're playing or practicing," Kenneth says walking out of the room.

One by one the rest of the guys follow. The days after that are filled with practicing. The only time the guys talk to me is to go over lyrics or tour. At night, I go over to Ashley's, and we end up watching movies, partying, or sleeping with each other. I don't even give Erica a second thought except for one morning. I wake up to find her all over TMZ. It's pictures of Dallon and her walking out of the venue. Her crying, and him comforting her. Flashing across the bottom of the screen is 'Breakup Equals Future Relationship?' Dallon walks in the room and stops when he sees the TV.

"Oh no, no, no," he mumbles pulling out his phone.

He quickly punches in a number.

"Hey, Erica," he says walking out of hearing range.

I turn the channel and minutes later he walks back in the room with a worried look on his face.

"I know that you don't want to talk to me, but why are you so worried," I ask him.

"I... we all know how hard it can be in high school with the bullies and stuff. It was hard for me without being all over the news. I can only imagine what it will be like for her. It's not what I would call a great way to start off senior year," he says walking out of the room.

I feel like this is all my fault. I didn't tell her about Ashley and me, and now she's paying for it. I fall asleep on the couch. My dreams are like little films. They only last about a minute or two before a new one shows up. I wake up to hear my phone ringing. The name Jess appears on the screen. Isn't that a friend Erica mentioned?

I answer the phone and say, "Hello."

"Listen here you little shit. You've cheated on my best friend with some low down piece of trash. Which caused her to get in the media and not in a good way. Which led to her getting beat up by some annoying bitches. You've ruined her life. I liked you at first, but now I fucking hate you... you piece of shit. You need to find some way to fix all of this and fast," Jess says slightly yelling.

She hangs up before I can say anything.


	19. Spiralling Into Oblivion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning.

"Hello," Brendon asks.

"Listen here you little shit. You've cheated on my best friend with some low down piece of trash. Which caused her to get in the media and not in a good way. Which led to her getting beat up by some annoying bitches. You've ruined her life. I liked you at first, but now I fucking hate you... you piece of shit. You need to find some way to fix all of this and fast," Jess says slightly yelling.

She hangs the phone up and calls Patrick.

"Jess... shouldn't you be in school learning," Patrick asks.

"I am in school, but we need to talk about Erica. Ever since the new issue of TMZ came out, people at our school's been obsessed with it. About two minutes ago, I found three girls beating her up in the bathroom," Jess says getting interrupted by Patrick.

"Did you go get the nurse," Patrick asks.

"No, she doesn't want this getting out to the press," Jess says putting her free hand on her hip.

"Take her home. I don't care if she skips the first day of school. I'll call our parents and tell them... they'll understand," Patrick instructs.

"Okay," Jess says hanging up.

I start crying.

"Come on, you're going home," Jess says helping me up.

"How are we going to get past the front office," I ask in between sobs.

"There's a door right next door that leads to the parking lot," Jess says as we walk out of the bathroom.

We quietly walk/limp out of the school. We finally get to my car, and there's a note on the window under the window shield wiper. I shakily take it and sit in the car. Jess sits in the driver's seat. I open the note and read it.

'Next time we'll finish the story, and hopefully you've learned your lesson on not listening. If you talk to Brendon, give him my number. Or better yet why don't you go kill yourself. That'll make everyone happy,' from you know who.

I crumple the paper up and shove it in my pocket. I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of getting rid of me that easy. I look in the rear view mirror and see a bruise on my forehead and eye. We finally arrive at my house, and Jess stays. She fixes popcorn, and we eat it while sitting on my bed. About forty minutes later, my mom comes running into my room.

"What happened," my mom loudly asks.

"Just some girls at school... That's it," I say looking at my bed.

"I'll be calling the principal today," she says looking at the bruises.

"No, you can't. It'll have to go to court then the media would find some way to get the information or make up a story," I say looking at her.

She turns to Jess and says, "Thank you so much for bringing her home, but I think you should be getting back to school."

She hesitantly looks at me and says, "You're welcome, Mrs. Stump."

Jess walks out of the room.

"Are you going to tell me what happened," my mom asks.

"I already did," I say.

"I want the entire story," she says.

"Can you just leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to be alone to think," I loudly say.

She looks hurt, and she walks out of the room. Tears start rolling down my face. I grab the scissors out of the box from under my bed. I go into the bathroom and begin to cut my wrists over and over again. The day turns into night, and I fall asleep. I wake up to my alarm clock going off. I do my morning routine, and I'm off to school. I'm wearing a black long sleeve shirt with old blue jeans and converse. Today has to be better than yesterday.

Everything changes when I get out of my car. There's even more people in the bushes with cameras. During school, every boy that's stuck up tries to flirt with me. They've been picking on me since kindergarden and now they want to sleep with me. No thanks. I shrug them off as the day continues. Quinn and her friends give me death glares in History class. Everyone's being incredibly fake except for Jess and Luke. I become even more depressed, and my grades go down from a A plus to a C plus. I push Jess and Luke away. The media keeps making up stories about me and Dallon which aren't true. Things are the same day after day. I continue to spin in a downward spiral. Some days I catch myself thinking about ways I could kill myself. It would put me and even Brendon out our misery. About a week passes, and I get a call from Patrick.

"Hey, Erica," Patrick excitedly says.

"Hi," I say.

"We just arrived at the venue. Do you want me to come get you from school or you come now," he asks.

"I'll come," I sigh.

"Okay," Patrick says in a worried tone.

I get out of bed, take a shower, do my makeup, put on a long sleeve gray shirt, converse, and shorts, and I do my hair. I grab the keys and hop in the car. I finally arrive at the venue twenty minutes later. I put sunglasses on and get out of the car. I text Patrick and let him know that I'm here.

'Meet me on the left side door,' Patrick texts.

The fans in the line look at me, but I quickly walk around the building. There's a side door and I knock on it. Patrick and the guys come to the door. They all pull me into a hug, and I have to hold the sleeves of the shirt so it wouldn't come up.

"We missed you, Little Stumpy," Pete says smiling.

"I missed you guys too," I say hesitantly taking the sunglasses off.

"Is that what the girls did to you," Andy asks.

"Trust me it's a whole lot worse without the makeup," I say slightly smiling.

"Those son of a bitches," Pete says.

"Can we not talk about any of it," I ask looking at them.

"Fine," Patrick says.

We walk down a series of hallways to their dressing rooms. The last time I was in one was when I was with Brendon and the guys... sitting in his lap... the catching him cheating wit-

"Hey, why wre you crying," Joe asks.

I quickly wipe the tears from my eyes. The guys all look at each other.

Pete says, "Alright something is definitely wrong with you. You aren't acting your normal self. Where is she?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say messing with the sleeves of my shirt.

"Yes you do know tell us," Pete says again.

I press my thumb against my wrist until I finally start to feel actual pain.

"What are you doing," Patrick asks as Pete gets a hold of my wrists.

Before I can do or say anything, he pushes my sleeves up. His eyes widen, and he looks at me. Patrick, Andy, and Joe comes around to see.

"Why would you do this to yourself," Patrick asks with tears running down his face.

I snatch my wrists from Pete and run down the hallways. I quickly run to my car. I look back, and their standing there debating on whether of not to risk being mobbed by fans. I get into the car and drive the fastest I've ever drove. I can barely see the road through the tears. When I get home, I run upstairs to the medicine cabinet. I search through the bottles until I find old sleeping pills that the doctor prescribed my dad awhile back. He stopped taking them because all he wanted to do was sleep. I shakily pour the remaining twenty five pills into my hand. Some drop into the floor. I look at myself in the mirror. 'Do this and the suffering will all be over,' I tell myself, but first I need to say goodbye. I quickly get a piece of paper and pen from my room. I scribble:

It had to be like this... it's better for everyone if I just go. Love, Erica.

I throw the paper and pen on the floor. I walk back into the bathroom, and take every last pill. After I take them, I pick up my phone and call Dallon.

"Hey I was just about to call you," Dallon says.

"Dallon, I need to tell you something, but you have to promise you won't get mad," I mumble laying down on my bed.

"Yeah, I promise," he says.

"Well, I took twenty five sleeping pills about two minutes ago," I mumble wiping the tears from my face.

"Oh my God, stay on the phone... better yet go into the bathroom and stick two fingers into your mouth until you throw the pills up," Dallon says.

"I don't want to live anymore, Dallon. Everyday it's torture. The-," I mumble.

I close my eyes as Dallon whispers, "Spencer, call 911, and tell them to go to Erica's house now. Like right now."

"Okay," Spencer says.

"Erica, are you still there," Dallon asks.

"Yeah," I mumble getting comfortable.

"Look the ambulance is on its way... just stay with me until then," Dallon says.

"Okay," I mumble as I start to fall asleep.

The last thing I hear is sirens in the distance, and Dallon calling my name

I faintly hear beeping in the background. I try to wake myself up, but I can't move or talk. So this is what death feels like? At least it's peaceful. I eventually find out that I can move my body. I hesitantly open my eyes and see people standing over me. I squint my eyes, and I can tell that they're Patrick, Pete, Andy, Joe, mom, dad, Dallon, Spencer, Kenneth, Ryan, and Jon.

"No, no, no. I wanted to die," I mumble as tears slip down my face.

"Why would you say something like that," my mom asks crying.

I ignore her and look down at my wrists. They're covered in bandages, there's an IV in my arm, and wires connected to my chest. The doctor walks in and mumbles something to my parents and the guys. Everyone walks out of the room except for Pete, Patrick, and Dallon.

"Can you tell us now what you were thinking when you took those pills," Patrick asks sitting down on the bed.

"I already told Dallon why," I mumble glancing at a teary eyed Dallon.

"Listen, I was in you same position. I was at a point where I didn't want to live anymore, so I did the same thing you did. I didn't die, and I learned that I could do a lot more things with my life that would make it better. Now, I have Bronx, I'm dating Meagan, and we're about to have a baby. Killing yourself isn't a long term answer... it's the easy way out of life that makes other people's lives miserable" Pete says.

"But I-," I mumble getting cut off by Brendon running in the door.

"What happened," he asks out of breath.

"Brendon, I don't thnk you should b-," Dallon starts to say.

"You're what happened. I can't even believe you have the nerve to come in here. I tried to kill myself because I wanted to be out of this miserable world, and so that you and that piece of trash could finally live happily ever after. You've caused my life to be a living Hell, and I wanted out," I say trying not to have a mental breakdown right there in front of anyone.

He gives me a hurt look, and the door suddenly opens. In walks Ashley with a bouquet of flowers. That does it. I start crying, and Dallon wraps his arms around me.

"Get her out of here now, Brendon," Patrick says.

They walk out of the room, and the guys try to calm me down. Days pass, and I'm stuck in the hospital for evaluation. They asks me tons of questions, and I answer them. They finally make the decision that I'm extremely depressed. They don't want to risk giving me antidepressants because it may cause me to become more suicidal, so they make me go to counseling every day of the week. I don't go back home for another week when I finally stop thinking about ways to kill myself. They don't want me going back to school, so I have to do online school... which is better for everyone. Dallon, Patrick, and the guys took another break from tour to keep me company even though I begged them not to. I wasn't allowed to watch the news... I knew there were probably tons of stories about me. Patrick's manager went to the media and set things straight. I hadn't seen Brendon since the whole scene at the hospital. I finally talked my parents into letting me go over to Jess' house.


	20. Products of a Big Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning.

When I get to Jessica's house, I sit down on her bed while she digs in her closet.

“Come on, Erica, go with me to the party,” Jessica says pulling a pastel pink short sparkly dress out of her closet.

“Jess, I don’t feel like going,” I mumble while I look down at my phone.

“It’s about Brendon and facing everyone. Isn't it,” she says sitting down on her bed.

“Yes,” I shakily say.

“You can’t let that stop you from having fun,” she says sighing.

“Fine. I’ll go, but I’m not wearing that dress… it’s too pink,” I say.

“Oh God, your fashion taste will never get better,” she starts digging in her closet and pulls out a black long sleeve, shiny, short dress, “how about this,” she asks.

“I’ll wear that,” I say.

She hands me the dress, and I go into the bathroom and change. When I look in the mirror, I notice that the dress is a little above my fingertips, it’s tight fitting, and it’s too sparkly. I let out a huge sigh and pull the dress down to try and make it longer.

Then I walk out of the bathroom, and Jess says, “That looks amazing on you. Now all we have to do is do your hair and makeup. Now sit down.”

 

After One Hour...

I look in the mirror to see a stranger starring back at me.

“Wow,” I manage to say.

“You look hot. Now, we have to go, so we won’t be late,” she says grabbing her purse.

I grab my glasses off of the dresser and follow her down to the car. Finally, after thirty minutes we arrive at Jack’s friend’s house.

As soon as we walk in the door, Luke walks up to us and slurs, “Hey guys… you both look smoking hot.”

“Thanks, but I can’t believe you’re already drunk,” I say.

“Hey, it’s the first huge party since school started back. Come dance with me, Jess,” he slurs wrapping his hand around her waist.

She looks back at me, and I nod. She hesitantly walks off with Jack. I walk through crowds of sweating drunk teenagers who are busy making out or dirty dancing. I finally reach the back door and walk out. Parties aren’t my kind of place. I lean on the railing of the porch.

“God, I wish I would’ve brought my phone,” I mumble under my breath.

“And why’s that,” Calvin asks walking up to stand beside me.

I turn around and notice that he has two drinks in his hands. He’s wearing his football jersey and faded blue jeans. I’ve never really liked him since he's Quinn's toy.

“Because I should’ve never came,” I say looking at him.

“Don’t you like my party,” he asks.

“They aren’t my favorite thing to do,” I say crossing my arms.

“They could be. Here do you want a drink,” he says extending his hand.

“No thanks. I don’t drink,” I say looking down at the ground.

“Fine. There’s coke in the refrigerator. I’ll go get it,” he says sitting down his drinks and walking back inside.

I turn around and look at the trees. Just then, Matt walks beside me.

“Hey Matt,” I say smiling.

“Hey Erica. I haven’t talked to you in a longgg time. How have you been,” he says.

“I know. We haven’t had classes together since we got in high school, and I'm doing fine,” I say pushing my glasses up.

“It’s okay. When did you get glasses,” he asks leaning back on the railing.

“Oh umm about a week ago,” I quietly say.

“Cool, so are you just going to stay out here until the party’s over,” he asks scratching his arm.

“Maybe. I like it out here instead of inside with a bunch of drunk sweaty people making out,” I say laughing.

“I know what you mean, but I’m here as my friend’s wingman. See you around,” he says.

“See ya,” I say as he walks away.

Just then, Calvin walks out with our drinks.

“Here ya go,” he says handing me the coke.

“Thanks,” I say as I drink it.

I take a few more sips and sit it down on the railing.

“Do you want to dance,” he asks.

“Sure,” I say.

He grabs my hand, and we walk inside. Loud pounding music is blasting in the background. I guess someone must have brought in strobe lights and fog machines. All the lights were all cut off now replaced with strobe lights. My head started to cloud up a little bit. Instead of walking in a straight line, I veered to the side. Calvin had to guide me back on track.

“Did you put something in my drink,” I slur.

“Just a little bit of something to make you loosen up,” he says pulling me closer.

He wraps his arms around my waist. I let out a small laugh. He smiles, and we start moving to the beat. As we continue to dance, I find it harder and harder for me to stand and talk.

Every thought gone from my mind as he leans in and whispers, “Let’s go upstairs to my bedroom.”

I nod, and we start making our way to the stairs. Before we can even get halfway up them, I collapse. He picks me up and carries me up the stairs. I want to tell him to put me down, but the words won’t come out of my mouth. My vision starts to fade in and out. We finally reach his bedroom, and he lays me on his bed. My whole body’s limp. Minutes later, I hear more low voices.

I hear someone say, “I can’t believe we’re going to do this.”

Someone else says, “We’re going to be legends in this town if we screw Patrick Stump’s little sister.”

Calvin says, “She shouldn't remember any of this.”

They can’t do this. I try to speak, but I finally work up enough strength to whisper, “No, please.”

Calvin leans over me and says, “Don’t worry. You won’t remember any of this in the morning. Just try and relax.”

He climbs on top of me, and I feel him slipping off my underwear. That’s when I black out.

When I wake up, I'm laying on the ground in front of my house. It's cold. What the Hell happened last night? I sit up and see the guys getting out of their cars. When they see me, Patrick and Dallon runs toward me.

"Why are you laying outside," Patrick asks as Dallon helps me stand up.

"I don't know," I say looking around.

"What do you mean you don't know," Dallon asks.

"I mean I don't know. I just remember being at the party last night dancing with Calvin and going up to his room," I say looking at Dallon.

"Classic stupid guy move," Pete says.

"What," Patrick asks.

"I might need to tell you this when she's not around," Pete says.

"You're saying it now, Pete," I say.

"It sounds like he drugged your drink and raped you," Pete says clenching his hands.

That's when my phone beeps. I open it, and a picture of Calvin ontop of me pops up on my phone. My eyes fill with tears, and I hand the phone to Patrick. He dials a number and walks away from us.

"Let's get you inside," Dallon says helping me inside.

They must have dropped me off after my parents left. I sit down on the couch. Dallon and Joe come back with a glass of water and a blanket. Minutes later, Patrick and Pete walk in with two police officers.

"Can you tell me what happened last night," the tall one asks.

"I was at this party, and I met this guy that I never really liked. His name is Calvin McLean. He went to get me a drink, and later on I couldn't talk right, so I asked him did he put something in my drink. He said that he did, and I need to loosen up. We went up to his room," I say looking at the glass of water.

They take Pete and Patrick to the side and talk to them. I have to go down to the station to give my statement. After I finish, I walk out into the lobby. To my surprise, Brendon's sitting in the chair with his head in his hands.

"Brendon," I say in disbelief.

"Ryan told me what happened. I'm so sorry," he says standing up.

"Where's Ashley," I ask crossing my arms.

"I remember the time we went swimming at the hotel, when we went skating and we kept falling, I remember the dinner date at the hotel, I remember getting caught by Dallon and Kenneth that night, I remember pushing you out of the way, so the tree wouldn't hit you, and most importantly I remember how in love I am with you. It was and always be you. I love you," he says smiling.

I actually believe him. There's no way he could lie about remembering those things because none of us told him about them. Tears of happiness start sliding down my cheek, and he walks over to me. He wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me on the lips. I let my arms fall to my side and I wrap them around his neck. It feels like we're meeting each other after a long time of being away from each other. Finally, we stop kissing.

"I love you too, Breny Boo," I say smiling.

One Month Later...

Calvin and his friends are finally thrown in jail. Their sentencing is still unknown at the time, but my part in the trial is done. I try and put the whole thing behind me. Brendon and I are back together. We both agreed that being apart from each other is bad for the both of us, so we talk my parents into letting me go on tour with them as long as I continue to do the online school. Right now, we're on our way to Ohio to do a show. It's about eleven in the morning. I'm throwing up in the bathroom again. Brendon's holding my hair back.

After I'm done, he asks, "I don't mean to freak you out, but do you think you could be pregnant?"

"No. No way," I say shaking my head.

"But you've been throwing up almost every morning. Just take a pregnancy test," Brendon says.

"I would, but we don't have one," I nervously say.

He pulls a box out of his bag and says, "I picked one up when we stopped in Texas. I've been wanting to ask you, and I guess now's the right time."

I take the box from him, and he walks out. I shut the door and follow the directions on the box. Please don't let me pregnant. I can't be. A plus sign slowly appears. Oh my God, I am.


End file.
